Ray's musings and humor

Overthinking kills your happiness, insecurities kills your self-esteem, & lies kills your trust.

Ritu Ghatourey

don't overthink 2

As I have aged I have discovered that if I want to live an active and happy life I need to go about doing so without too much delay. I see way too many folks spending so much time getting ready that they miss the race. Overthinking about what we might do is often the way to make sure we won’t do what we could.

It is one thing to procrastinate because we would rather do something else but it is never healthy to procrastinate because we are reluctant or afraid to start. It is like hockey player Wayne Gretzky said some time ago “You miss 100% of the shots you don’t take.” In life you will never know how good it can be if you just stay where you are.

Here are some tips on how to stop overthinking that I copied from an article by Henrik Edberg

 How to Stop Overthinking Everything

What is holding people back from the life that they truly want to live? I’d say that one very common and destructive thing is that they think too much. They overthink every little problem until it becomes bigger and scarier and it actually is. Overthink positive things until they don’t look so positive anymore.

Now, thinking things through can be a great thing of course. But being an overthinker can result in becoming someone who stands still in life. In becoming someone who self-sabotages the good things that happen in life.

Put things into a wider perspective.

It is very easy to fall into the trap of overthinking minor things in life. So when you are thinking and thinking about something ask yourself: Will this matter in 5 years? Or even in 5 weeks?

Set short time-limits for decisions.

If you do not have a time-limit for when you must make a decision and take action then you can just keep turning your thoughts around and around and view them from all angles in your mind for a very long time. So learn to become better at making decisions and to spring into action by setting deadlines in your daily life. No matter if it is a small or bigger decision.

Realize that you cannot control everything.

Trying to think things through 50 times can be a way to try to control everything. To cover every eventuality so you do not risk making a mistake, fail or looking like a fool. But those things are a part of living a life where you truly stretch your comfort zone. Everyone who you may admire and have lived a life that inspires you has failed. They have made mistakes. But in most cases they have also seen these things as valuable feedback to learn from. Those things that may look negative have taught them a lot and have been invaluable to help them to grow.

Do not get lost in vague fears.

Another trap that I have fallen into many times that have spurred on overthinking is that I have gotten lost in vague fears about a situation in my life. And so my mind running wild has created disaster scenarios about what could happen if I do something. So I have learned to ask myself: honestly, what is the worst that could happen? And when I have figured out what the worst that could happen actually is then I can also spend a little time to think about what I can do if that often pretty unlikely thing happens.

Spend more of your time in the present moment.

By being in the present moment in your everyday life rather than in the past or a possible future in your mind you can replace more and more of the time you usually spend on overthinking things with just being here right now instead.

Spend more of your time with people who do not overthink things.

Your social environment plays a big part. And not just the people and groups close to you in real life. But also what you read, listen to and watch. The blogs, books, forums, movies, podcasts and music in your life. Find ways to spend more of your time and attention with the people and sources that have a positive effect on your thinking and less on the influences that tends to strengthen your overthinking habit.

~~~

“This is probably the advantage of being stupid. Stupid people just do. We tend to overthink. If we could eliminate the “over” and just think, then we could do, too. Only we’d be smarter doers because we’d be thinkers.”

Sarah Strohmeyer

~~~

There once was a business owner who was interviewing people for a division manager position and had a variety of individuals applying for the position. He decided to select the individual that could answer the question how much is 2+2?

The first candidate was an engineer. He pulled out a slide rule and showed that the answer was 4.

The second candidate was an attorney. He stated that in the case of Svenson vs. the State, 2+2 was proven to be 4.

The final candidate was a CPA. When asked what 2+2 equaled, the CPA did not respond immediately. He looked at the business owner, then got out of his chair and went to see if anyone was listening at the door. Then he returned to the business owner and said, “What would you like it to be?”

~~~

Why do fat chance and slim chance mean the same thing?

~~~

An elderly gentlemen went in for his annual physical exam. The doctor said, “You’re in incredible shape. How old are you again?” The man replied, “I am 78.”

The doctor exclaimed, “Wow, 78. How do you stay so healthy? You look like a 60 year old.” The man explained, “Well, my wife and I made a pact when we got married that whenever she got mad she would go into the kitchen and cool off and I would go outside to settle down.”

“What does that have to do with it?” asked the doctor. The man sighed, “I’ve pretty much lived an outdoor life.”

~~~

Nothing multiplies so much as kindness.

John Ray

~~~

A new hair salon opened up for business right across the street from the old established hair cutters’ place.  They put up a big bold sign which read:

“WE GIVE SEVEN DOLLAR HAIR CUTS!”

Not to be outdone, the old Master Barber put up his own sign:

“WE FIX SEVEN DOLLAR HAIR CUTS”

~~~

She’s afraid that if she leaves, she’ll become the life of the party.

Groucho Marx

~~~

An elderly Jew is struck by a car and brought to the hospital.

A pretty nurse tucks him into bed and says, “Mr. Epstein, are you comfortable?”

Epstein replies, “I make a nice living.”

~~~

If you always do what you’ve always done, you will always get what you’ve always got. If you want things that you never got, you must do things you have never done!

Nishan Panwar

~~~

Stay well, do good work, and have fun.

Ray Mitchell

Indianapolis, Indiana

Management is not responsible for duplicates from previous dailies. The editor is somewhat senile.

This daily is sent only to special people who want to start their day on an upbeat. If you have system overload because of our daily clutter, let me know and I will send you the information via mental telepathy. If you have not been getting our daily you can request to be added by e-mailing me at raykiwsp@gmail.com. Back issues are posted at http://raykiwsp.wordpress.com/ currently there are more than 2000 readers from around the world.

 

Some days are not easy

The gem cannot be polished without friction, nor man be perfected without trials.

Danish Proverb

adversity 2

A couple of days ago I took my car in for what I thought was some minor repairs only to find out that I had a catastrophic problem that would cost more than $3000 to repair, that on top of probably another couple of thousand for stuff I had put off. Needless to say this was quite a shock especially when I learned that the problem made my auto unsafe to drive. So once I got past the “woe is me” stuff my wife and I realized the only solution was to replace it with something new.

If you remember the other day I said something like “In every adverse situation there is a complimentary opportunity,” the idea is similar to  “It is an ill wind that that blows no good.” So being me I thought about this situation and realized that if I would have taken better care of myself, I probably would not had my recent open heart surgery and if I had not had the surgery I would not of canceled my wife’s and my two week cruise, and if I had not of had to cancel the two week cruise I would not have had the available funds to put down on a new car. I felt better but I still find it hard to view my cardiac problems as positive events.

So far the car is smarter than I am with all its features but I am sure I will get use to them. So I now get better mileage, up to date electronics and a car with no defects. In fact it came with a 20 year warrantee which means I am covered until I will be almost a hundred years old; I may decide to quit driving before then.

In my case the knowledge that life goes on keeps me focused on not wasting time crying over spilt milk. Here are thing’s to think about when encountering a setback:

 

Points to Consider When Things Go Wrong

The difficult times in life help us appreciate when things are going smoothly.

Look for the learning opportunities in every adverse situation.

Decide whether you will allow your experience to make, or break you. Depending upon how you choose to perceive it, it could go either way.

Be prepared to accept the worst, should it occur. When you have prepared yourself mentally for the worst, it rarely ever happens, and if it does, it seems less so because you are better equipped to handle it.

Cultivate faith, courage and resilience. The more of these qualities you arm yourself with, the lesser the impact of the adversity.

Remind yourself that adversity is part of life. To Accept adversity, helps you overcome it.

Overcoming adversity is one of our main challenges in life. When we resolve to confront and overcome it, we become expert at dealing with it and consequently triumph over our day-to-day struggles.

~~~

Life is thickly sown with thorns, and I know no other remedy than to pass quickly through them. The longer we dwell on our misfortunes, the greater is their power to harm us.

Voltaire

~~~

A friend of mine heard this on a pre-flight announcement from an American Airlines pilot: “On our flight today, we will be flying at 34,000 feet. To give you an idea of how high that is, we would be able to fly over 50 Empire state buildings stacked one on top the other.

“Our speed will be about 500 miles per hour. That is just over the muzzle velocity of the standard military .45 pistol.”

“We will be pushed along by two Pratt and Whitney JT-8D-200 turbofan engines. While thrust to horsepower varies with altitude, the total 40,000 pounds of thrust is greater than the combined power of 10 D-9 diesel locomotives.”

“In other words, we’re faster than a speeding bullet, more powerful than a locomotive, and able to leap tall buildings in a single bound, and as always, your Dallas based crew stands for truth, justice, and the AMERICAN way of life!”

~~~

All of us could take a lesson from the weather.  It pays no attention to criticism.

~~~

A guy had told all of his friends about the great steak he’d eaten downtown the day before. A group of them decided to head down and see if was really as large and delicious as he was making it out to be. The group was seated in the back of the restaurant. After looking over the menu, they ordered and waited, hungrily, for their large, delicious pieces of gigantic steaks. To their collective disappointment, the waiter brought out some of the smallest steaks they’d ever seen.

“Now see here,” the very embarrassed guy said to the waiter. “Yesterday when I came down here you served me a BIG, juicy, steak. Today, though, when I have my friends invited, you serve small miniature steaks! What is the meaning of this?”

“Yes, sir,” replied the waiter, “yesterday you were sitting by the window.”

~~~

“If you wait for the perfect moment when all is safe and assured, it may never arrive. Mountains will not be climbed, races won, or lasting happiness achieved.”

Maurice Chevalier

~~~

A distraught young couple, as yet unmarried, sought advice from their rabbi. “Rabbi, it’s terrible,” said the man. “We’re not getting married for three months, but every day we feel the overwhelming desire to have sex. How can we stay within the laws of Judaism?”

“Orange juice,” the rabbi answered.

“Orange juice?” asked the woman. “What do you mean? Before?, after?”

“INSTEAD!”

~~~

You know you’re growing older when …You begin to realize that your parents were right, after all.!

~~~

It´s a summer holiday weekend and a man walks into a butcher shop which has a sign in the window saying “Ground Sirloin: $2.29 per pound” The man says, “I´m having a cookout this weekend. I´d like 5 pounds of your ground sirloin, please.”

The butcher shakes his head and says, “Sorry. I´m all out.”

The man, disappointed goes down the street to another butcher shop and asks, “How much is your ground sirloin?” The proprietor replies, “It´s $3.29 per pound.”

“Three twenty nine!?!” exclaimed the customer. “Just up the street he sells it for $2.29 cents!”

The butcher smiles calmly at the gentleman and asks, “Does he have any?”

“No. He´s out of it right now.”

“Well,” says the butcher. “When I don’t have any, I can sell it for $1.19 per pound!”

~~~

Obstacles don’t have to stop you. If you run into a wall, don’t turn around and give up. Figure out how to climb it, go through it, or work around it.

Michael Jordan

~~~

Stay well, do good work, and have fun.

Ray Mitchell

Indianapolis, Indiana

Management is not responsible for duplicates from previous dailies. The editor is somewhat senile.

This daily is sent only to special people who want to start their day on an upbeat. If you have system overload because of our daily clutter, let me know and I will send you the information via mental telepathy. If you have not been getting our daily you can request to be added by e-mailing me at raykiwsp@gmail.com. Back issues are posted at http://raykiwsp.wordpress.com/ currently there are more than 2000 readers from around the world.

 

“Count your age by friends, not years. Count your life by smiles, not tears.”

John Lennon

 Be Happy

I hope you are staying as happy as I am. I am sometimes accused of being unrealistically happy, if I am I don’t care as I find deciding to be happy is a choice I am glad I make every day. How drab it must be for those who never smile and who are so often ignored because the express little joy.

I get up every morning expecting to have a good day, I expect to like everyone I meet and usually do, I will laugh some and smile often. Not because my world is much different than the world of those who just exist without being happy, it isn’t, it is because I have chosen to be happy. You can too. If you need help follow the advice below.

 

“Promise Yourself

To be so strong that nothing can disturb your peace of mind.

To talk health, happiness, and prosperity to every person you meet.

To make all your friends feel that there is something in them

To look at the sunny side of everything and make your optimism come true.

To think only the best, to work only for the best, and to expect only the best.

To be just as enthusiastic about the success of others as you are about your own.

To forget the mistakes of the past and press on to the greater achievements of the future.

To wear a cheerful countenance at all times and give every living creature you meet a smile.

To give so much time to the improvement of yourself that you have no time to criticize others.

To be too large for worry, too noble for anger, too strong for fear, and too happy to permit the presence of trouble.

To think well of yourself and to proclaim this fact to the world, not in loud words but great deeds.

To live in faith that the whole world is on your side so long as you are true to the best that is in you.”

Christian D. Larson

~~~

“It isn’t what you have or who you are or where you are or what you are doing that makes you happy or unhappy. It is what you think about it.”

Dale Carnegie

~~~

TEACHER: George, go to the map and find North America.

STUDENT: Here it is!

TEACHER: Correct. Now class, who discovered America?

CLASS: George!

~~~

Why are things typed up but written down?

~~~

The old Professor and his wife decided to visit an art gallery. Right on the first wall, they see a picture of a naked woman with only her privates covered with leaves. The professor’s wife doesn’t like it and moves on, but naturally, the old professor keeps looking… She asks, “Well, what are you waiting for?” The old professor replies, “Autumn.”

~~~

A doctor examined a man, took the wife aside, and said, “I don’t like the looks of your husband at all.” “Me neither doc.” said the wife. “But he’s a good provider and really good with the kids.”

~~~

The Sunday school teacher was carefully explaining the story of Elijah the Prophet and the false prophets of Baal. She explained how Elijah built the altar, put wood upon it, cut the steer in pieces and laid it upon the altar. And then Elijah commanded the people of God to fill four barrels of water and pour it over the altar. He had them do this four times. “Now, said the teacher, “can anyone in the class tell me why the Lord would have Elijah pour water over the steer on the altar?”

A little girl in the back of the room raised her hand with great enthusiasm. “To make the gravy,” came her enthusiastic reply.

~~~

How can you tell which bottle contains the PMS medicine?

It’s the one with bite marks on the cap.

~~~

Alex, a widower, went to a dance at the Senior’s Center. There he met Ruth, a woman also in her golden years. Alex and Ruth danced every dance together.

Afterward, they went out for coffee. As they walked home, Ruth said, “You remind me of my fourth husband.”

“Really?” Alex replied, “How many times have you been married?”

“Three.”

~~~

The right thing to say usually comes to mind right after you’ve said the wrong thing.

~~~

10 Things You Never Hear in Church

  1. Hey! It’s my turn to sit in the front pew!
  2. I was so enthralled, I never noticed your sermon went 25 minutes over time.
  3. Personally I find witnessing much more enjoyable than golf.
  4. I’ve decided to give our church the $500 a month I used to send to TV evangelists.
  5. I volunteer to be the permanent teacher for the Junior High Sunday School class.
  6. Forget the denominational minimum salary. Let’s pay our pastor so he can live like we do.
  7. I love it when we sing hymns I’ve never heard before!
  8. Since we’re all here, let’s start the service early.
  9. Pastor, we’d like to send you to this Bible seminar in the Bahamas.
  10. Nothing inspires me and strengthens my commitment like our annual stewardship campaign!

~~~

“When a man brings his wife flowers for no reason, there’s a reason.”

Molly McGee

~~~

After being on the phone forever with a customer who had been having difficulties with a computer program, a support technician at my company turned in his report:  “The problem resides between the keyboard and the chair.”

~~~

You only live once, but if you do it right, once is enough.

Mae West

~~~

“You admit having broken into the dress shop four times?” asked the Judge.

“Yes,” answered the suspect.

“And what did you steal?”

“A dress, Your Honor,” replied the subject.

“One dress?” echoed the judge. “But you admit breaking in four times!”

“Yes, Your Honor,” sighed the suspect. “But three times my wife didn’t like the color.”

~~~

“Success is getting what you want, happiness is wanting what you get”

 W.P. Kinsella

~~~

Stay well, do good work, and have fun.

Ray Mitchell

Indianapolis, Indiana

Management is not responsible for duplicates from previous dailies. The editor is somewhat senile.

This daily is sent only to special people who want to start their day on an upbeat. If you have system overload because of our daily clutter, let me know and I will send you the information via mental telepathy. If you have not been getting our daily you can request to be added by e-mailing me at raykiwsp@gmail.com. Back issues are posted at http://raykiwsp.wordpress.com/ currently there are about 2000 readers from around the world.

 

You cannot do a kindness too soon, for you never know how soon it will be too late.

Ralph Waldo Emerson

acts-of-kindness-1

I have had the good fortune during my numerous careers to meet many people, even movie stars, US and Foreign Leaders, non-profit and business CEO’s and hundreds of others. Most tended to be good people and most did good work. But you know what? The people who impress me the most are people like my friend Jo Ann who works for the Salvation Army, my Occupational Therapist friend Laura and others like them. They are my heroes because of their constant unselfish kindness.

I have been amazed by people like Laura and Jo Ann who even when things are tough in their lives continue to go out of their way for others. Their warmth and interest in the needs of others is inspiring to me and I know it is to others as well. After knowing them and a few others like them I have come to believe that that the most important and appreciated attribute an individual can have is kindness. Neither of my friends flaunts their kindness nor expects anything in return, but they get plenty in return, I have never heard anyone say something negative about them but I have often heard many praise their goodness.

Here are a couple of really short stories that I would like to share with you for they remind me of the friends I respect the most.

Kindness Story

I was in the drive thru at Starbucks about 7:15 a.m. this morning before going in to work. When I got to the window to get my beverage and pay, the young lady at the window said, “Merry Christmas! The women in the car in front of you paid for your beverage and wanted you to have a Happy Holiday.”

What an awesome random act of kindness. It has set the tone and mood for me all day. I can hardly wait to get a chance to do something to pay it back. I have shared this with everyone that will listen.

***

Under the Umbrella of Kindness

I was shopping and when I went to leave the store, it was raining so very, very hard that the rain was bouncing back up off the cement. I had an umbrella in my purse and spent the next half hour or so walking people to their cars as they truly would have been drenched otherwise. I ended up soaked to the knees but the people that I helped were so surprised and grateful, I think that maybe in similar circumstances they may do the same.

Actually, I try and carry out one act of kindness every day if the opportunity crosses my path and figure it makes the world a better place. I’m sure you agree.

~~~

Treat everyone with politeness, even those who are rude to you — not because they are nice, but because you are.

Author Unknown

~~~

“You Know You Work In Corporate America If:”

You’ve sat at the same desk for 4 years and worked for three different companies.

Your resume is on a diskette in your pocket.

The company logo on your badge is drawn on a post-it note.

When someone asks about what you do for a living, you lie.

You get really excited about a 2% pay raise.

You learn about your layoff on CNN.

You sit in a cubicle smaller than your bedroom closet.

It’s dark when you drive to and from work.

“Communication” is something your group is having problems with.

Weekends are those days your spouse makes you stay home from work.

Being sick is defined as can’t walk or you’re in the hospital.

You’re already late on the assignment you just got.

Your boss’ favorite lines are “when you get a few minutes,” “in your spare time,” “when you’re freed up,” and “I have an opportunity for you.”

Vacation is something you roll over to next year or a check you get every January.

The only reason you recognize your kids is because their pictures are hanging in your cube.

~~~

The nicest thing about the future is that it always starts tomorrow.

~~~

While in Atlanta on vacation, Little Johnny’s Daddy took one afternoon to see historic sites downtown. Two young families were also in line to the see the sites. Little Johnny struck up a conversation with one of the boys in line.

“My name is Kilroy. What’s yours?” asked the first boy.

“Johnny”.

“My Daddy’s an accountant. What does your Pop do for a living?” asked.

Little Johnny replied, “My Daddy’s a lawyer.”

“Honest?” asked Kilroy.

Johnny replied, “No, just the regular kind.”

~~~

Scratch a dog and you’ll find a permanent job.

~~~

Moshe and Miriam, a young orthodox married couple, were expecting their first baby. Unfortunately, Miriam’s water broke on Shabbos and they had no choice but to call for a taxi to take them to the hospital’s maternity ward. Because Moshe wanted to try and minimize the Shabbos violation, he told the dispatcher that he must send them only a non-Jewish driver. The taxi quickly arrived, but when Moshe and Miriam were getting in, they overheard the dispatcher on the two-way radio ask the driver, “Have you picked up the anti-semites yet?”

~~~

Why are you “in” a movie, but you’re “on” TV?

~~~

A father in a hurry taking his 8-year-old son to school, makes a turn at a red light where it isn’t allowed.

“Uh-oh, I just made an illegal turn!” the man said.

“That’s OK Dad,” the son says, “The police car right behind us did the same thing.”

~~~

“People will forget what you say, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel.”

~~~

Two men meet on the street. One asks the other: “Hi, how are you?”

The other replies: “I’m fine, thanks.”

“And how’s your son? Is he still unemployed?”

“Yes, he is. But he is meditating now.”

“Meditating? What’s that?”

“I don’t know. But it’s better than sitting around and doing nothing!”

~~~

Beginning today, treat everyone you meet as if they were going to be dead by midnight. Extend to them all the care, kindness and understanding you can muster, and do it with no thought of any reward. Your life will never be the same again.

Og Mandino

~~~

Stay well, do good work, and have fun.

Ray Mitchell

Indianapolis, Indiana

Management is not responsible for duplicates from previous dailies. The editor is somewhat senile.

This daily is sent only to special people who want to start their day on an upbeat. If you have system overload because of our daily clutter, let me know and I will send you the information via mental telepathy. If you have not been getting our daily you can request to be added by e-mailing me at raykiwsp@gmail.com. Back issues are posted at http://raykiwsp.wordpress.com/ currently there are about 2000 readers from around the world.

 

So you want to be a leader!

Some people dream of success… while others wake up and work hard at it.

Author Unknown

! road-to-success1

I had breakfast last Saturday with one of our cities most respected leaders. He recently retired as the head of a major health organization but continues wearing many hats as he works to make our city a better place. We talked about how so many of our fellow citizens are an untapped resource who if motivated could make our city an even better place than it is. During our conversation he shared with me that he recently had met with a group of young college educated folks who complained that the older generation was not getting out of their way so that they could take on the leadership roles. I said that in my experience the best way to be selected to lead was to earn the role. My friend commented that it seemed like too many get out of college thinking they have the skills to lead others without putting in the time and effort that their predecessors have.

I have found over the years that it is the people who have participated in the activities of their organization at every level that learn what they need to know to lead others who succeed. They know what the organization is all about, how it works and most of all how valuable everyone in the organization is to its success. Over the years the best baseball players in the major leagues are those who sharpened their skills in the minors, life is like that, we need to go through our own development years honing our skills. And you know what − those are the folks who are asked to lead, they are asked because they earned the respect of those they will lead.

I like what David Crandall wrote in the forward to The Core: Foundational Truths for Learning Leadership Right Where You Are, he said:

In a culture that puts “me” first, we often fall prey to the belief that we should be leading while everyone else follows. We romanticize ideas of leadership based on books and movies, people we’ve known and heroes we’ve heard about. We mistakenly equate celebrity and rock-star status with leadership and seek to lead before we understand the basic skills necessary for the position.

We believe that we would be great leaders if given the opportunity. We seek to have the role of leader bestowed upon us believing that we possess the necessary skills adequate for the position.

Focus is all too often placed on the leader’s own success and not that of those they would seek to lead.

For this reason, the pursuit for leadership before gaining the necessary skills is a dangerous one. Finding oneself in a place of leadership before being able to competently lead others can be a devastating experience for the leader and the people following them. Without having first the mind of a follower, we will struggle with developing the mind of a leader. Worse yet, we will not likely have developed the skills necessary to make our followers successful.

~~~

You can succeed best and quickest by helping others to succeed.

Napoleon Hill

~~~

A Mother’s Dictionary

Bottle feeding: An opportunity for Daddy to get up at 2 am too.

Defense: What you’d better have around de yard if you’re going to let de children play outside.

Drooling: How teething babies wash their chins.

Dumbwaiter: One who asks if the kids would care to order dessert.

Feedback: The inevitable result when the baby doesn’t appreciate the strained carrots.

Full name: What you call your child when you’re mad at him.

Grandparents: The people who think your children are wonderful even though they’re sure you’re not raising them right.

Impregnable: A woman whose memory of labor is still vivid.

Independent: How we want our children to be as long as they do everything we say.

Look out: What it’s too late for your child to do by the time you scream it.

Prenatal: When your life was still somewhat your own.

Prepared childbirth: A contradiction in terms.

Puddle: A small body of water that draws other small bodies wearing dry shoes into it.

Show off: A child who is more talented than yours.

Sterilize: What you do to your first baby’s pacifier by boiling it and to your last baby’s pacifier by blowing on it.

Storeroom: The distance required between the supermarket aisles so that children in shopping carts can’t quite reach anything.

Temper tantrums: What you should keep to a minimum so as to not upset the children.

Two-minute warning: When the baby’s face turns red and she begins to make those familiar grunting noises.

Whodunit: None of the kids that live in your house.

Whoops: An exclamation that translates roughly into “get a sponge.”

~~~

“God give me patience….And make it quick!”

~~~

Two friends met.  “You look sad, Fred, what’s the trouble?” asked the first friend.

“Domestic trouble.”

“But you always bragged that your wife is a pearl.”

“She still is.  It’s the mother-of-pearl that makes all the trouble.’

~~~

When I die, I want to go like my grandmother, who died peacefully in her sleep. Not screaming like all the passengers in her car.

~~~

Melvin was playing football very badly. He tried to kick a goal and missed. Finally, He threw himself down on the bench and said in disgust, “Boy, I could just kick myself.”

The coach looked the other way. “Don’t bother,” he said, “you’d probably miss.”

~~~

Is it possible to scream at the bottom of your lungs?

~~~

A shepherd was herding his flocks in a remote pasture when suddenly a brand new Jeep Cherokee advanced out of a dust cloud towards him. The driver, a young man in a Brioni suit, Gucci shoes, Ray Ban sunglasses and a YSL tie leaned out of the window and asked our shepherd: “If I can tell you exactly how many sheep you have in your flock, will you give me one?”

The shepherd looks at the yuppie, then at his peacefully grazing flock and calmly answers, “Sure!” The yuppie parks the car, whips out his notebook, connects it to a cell-phone, surfs to a NASA page on the Internet  where he calls up a GPS satellite navigation system, scans the area, opens up a database and some 60 Excel spreadsheets with complex formulas.

Finally: he prints out a 150 page report on his hi-tech miniaturized printer, turns round to our shepherd and says: “You have here exactly 1586 sheep!”  “This is correct.  As agreed, you can take one of the sheep” says the  shepherd.  He watches the young man makes a selection and bundles it in his Cherokee.

Then the shepherd says: “If I can tell you exactly what your business is, will you give me my sheep back?”  “Okay, why not” answers the young man. “You are a consultant” says the shepherd.  “This is correct” says the yuppie, “How did you guess that?”

“Easy”, answers the shepherd.  “You turn up here although nobody called you.  You want to be paid for the answer to a question I already knew the solution to, and you don’t know anything about my business because you took my dog.”

~~~

TEACHER: Max, use “defeat”, “defense”, and “detail” in a sentence.

MAX: The rabbit cut across the field, and defeat went over defense before detail.

~~~

Three elderly people were talking about what their grandchildren would be saying about them fifty years from now.

“I would like my grandchildren to say, ‘He was successful in business,'” declared the first man.

“Fifty years from now,” said the second, “I want them to say, ‘He was a loyal family man.'” Turning to the third one, a lady, he asked, “So what do you want them to say about you in fifty years?”

“Me?” the third one replied. “I want them to say, ‘She certainly looks good for her age.'”

~~~

That man is successful who has lived well, laughed often, and loved much, who has gained the respect of the intelligent men and the love of children; who has filled his niche and accomplished his task; who leaves the world better than he found it, whether by an improved poppy, a perfect poem, or a rescued soul; who never lacked appreciation of earth’s beauty or failed to express it; who looked for the best in others and gave the best he had.

Robert Louis Stevenson

~~~

Stay well, do good work, and have fun.

Ray Mitchell

Indianapolis, Indiana

Management is not responsible for duplicates from previous dailies. The editor is somewhat senile.

This daily is sent only to special people who want to start their day on an upbeat. If you have system overload because of our daily clutter, let me know and I will send you the information via mental telepathy. If you have not been getting our daily you can request to be added by e-mailing me at raykiwsp@gmail.com. Back issues are posted at http://raykiwsp.wordpress.com/ currently there are about 2000 readers from around the world.

 

Inspration

“What lies behind us and what lies before us are tiny matters compared to what lies within us.”

Ralph Waldo Emerson

 inspiration

One of the things that gives me pleasure is the thoughts others share with me, especially those that provide the opportunity to focus on the good parts of life. As you know one of those I like best is Marc Chernoff. It is hard to be a follower if his writings without leaving motivated. A few years ago he shared an article where he included quotes that had meaning for him, they did for me too. Here are a few of his quotes that meant something to me as well.

 

Inspiring Quotes for Uninspiring Times

Your best music is still inside you. – The only way for us to have long-term happiness and success is to live by our highest principles, to consistently act in accordance with what we believe our life is in fact about.  That music you hear inside you motivating you to take risks and follow your dreams is your instinctive calling to the true purpose in your heart and mind.  Don’t ignore it.  Be enthusiastic about all that you do, and the possibilities that lie ahead.  Have the courage to pursue your calling.  Don’t die with your music still in you.

It’s never too late to be who you could have been. – It’s a matter of switching gears, never looking back, and BECOMING the person today that you always knew you were capable of being.  Entertain every thought, say every word, and make every decision from their point of view.  Walk the way they would walk, dress the way they would dress, and spend your free time the way they would spend theirs.  Choose the friends they would choose, eat the meals they would eat, and love and appreciate yourself the way they would.  These steps MUST come in order for there to be change.  But since this person is who you REALLY are deep down, that makes this task a bit easier.  You just have to STOP BEING WHO YOU AREN’T.

Challenges are simply opportunities. – When you encounter resistance, it means you are moving forward.  When you come across a challenge, it means you have reached an opportunity for growth.  Life becomes more rewarding as it becomes more demanding.  Each new challenge is an opportunity to stretch beyond your previous limits.  Most of the advantages you enjoy today were born in the difficulties through which you once traveled.  So revel in the beauty of each challenging effort.  Give your best to life, and life will return the favor many times over.

Tough times serve a purpose. – From every wound there is a scar, and every scar tells a story – a story that says, “I learned and I survived.”  There are moments when troubles enter your life and you can do nothing to avoid them, but they are there for a reason.  Only when you have overcome them will you understand why they were there.  So be brave and press forward; you will not see the light at the end of the tunnel until you walk through the darkness.

Your opinion of YOU is what’s important. – Most of the good things you do will go unnoticed by others.  Do them anyway, because you will notice.  Many of the contributions you make will not be fully realized by others.  Make them anyway, because you realize they are the right things to do.  It’s great when you receive recognition for the things you do, yet even when there is no possibility of recognition, YOU still recognize the reasons you are putting forth the effort.  Your honest, authentic view of yourself influences all that you do.  And that view is formed mainly during times when no one is watching.  Your life is a living expression of who you know yourself to be, regardless of what others think or see.

It’s OK to let some people walk away. – You don’t have control over the things people say about you, but you do have control over how you decide to internalize it.  Leave people to their opinions and judgments.  Let them love you for who you are, and not for who they want you to be.  Or let them walk away if they choose. 

There’s a lot to appreciate in this moment. – Your journey will be much lighter and easier if you don’t try to carry your entire past and future around with you.  Take a break.  Let go of your obsession with yesterday’s struggles and tomorrow’s to-do list, and simply enjoy the beauty of what’s right here, right now.  Sometimes you have to stop thinking that some new richness will fulfill you, so you can fully experience the richness that’s already yours.

~~~

“If you want to test your memory, try to recall what you were worrying about one year ago today.”

  1. Joseph Cossman

~~~

An elderly widow and widower were dating for about five years.  The man finally decided to ask her to marry. She immediately said “yes”.

The next morning when he awoke, he couldn’t remember what her answer was! “Was she happy? I think so, wait, no, she looked at me funny…” After about an hour of trying to remember to no avail, he got on the telephone and gave her a call. Embarrassed, he admitted that he didn’t remember her answer to the marriage proposal.

“Oh”, she said, “I’m so glad you called. I remembered saying ‘yes’ to someone, but I couldn’t remember who it was.”

~~~

“If you cannot be a poet, be the poem.”

David Carradine

~~~

One of the best marksmen in the FBI was passing through a small town. Everywhere he saw evidences of the most amazing shooting.  On trees, on walls, and on fences there were numerous bull’s-eyes with the bullet hole in dead center.  The FBI man asked one of the townsmen if he could meet the person responsible for this wonderful marksmanship.  The man turned out to be the village idiot.

“This is the best marksmanship I have ever seen,” said the FBI man.  “How in the world do you do it?”

“Nothing to it,” said the guy.  “I shoot first and draw the circles afterward.”

~~~

Why is it that cargo is transported by ship while a shipment is transported by car?

~~~

He said : A GOOD FRIEND OF MINE warned me that, as my three daughters became old enough to date, I’d disapprove of every young man who took them out. When the time came, I was pleased that my friend’s prediction was wrong. Each boy was pleasant and well-mannered. Talking to my daughter Joanna one day, I said that I liked all the young men she and her sisters brought home.

“You know, Dad,” she replied, “we don’t show you everybody.”

~~~

“Reputation is character minus what you’ve been caught doing.”

Michael Iapoce

~~~

A group of Rabbis were having lunch in “Isaacs White House” kosher restaurant. Unfortunately, Isaac served them watermelon spiked with cherry vodka that he had prepared for another table and he realized his mistake too late to do anything about it. All Isaac could do was wait in his kitchen and expect the worst. As soon as the waiter came back into the kitchen with the empty plates, Isaac grabbed hold of him and asked, “What did they say, please tell me, what did they say?”

“Nothing at all, Mr Isaac,” replied the waiter. “They were all too busy cleaning up the watermelon seeds and putting them into their pockets.”

~~~

“I am an optimist. It does not seem too much use being anything else.”

Winston Churchill

~~~

Stay well, do good work, and have fun.

Ray Mitchell

Indianapolis, Indiana

Management is not responsible for duplicates from previous dailies. The editor is somewhat senile.

This daily is sent only to special people who want to start their day on an upbeat. If you have system overload because of our daily clutter, let me know and I will send you the information via mental telepathy. If you have not been getting our daily you can request to be added by e-mailing me at raykiwsp@gmail.com. Back issues are posted at http://raykiwsp.wordpress.com/ currently there are about 2000 readers from around the world.

 

I have made my choices

There is a garden in every childhood, an enchanted place where colors are brighter, the air softer, and the morning more fragrant than ever again.

Elizabeth Lawrence

 2nd childhood

Years ago I was told that in every adverse situation there is a positive opportunity. Last winter I suffered from congestive heart failure that put me in a comma and on life support for three days. Then this summer they found a different problem that required open heart surgery. All this triggered an opportunity to reassess my activities in order to put more balance in my life which will allow me to run less and enjoy more.

So I took my own advice, I inventoried my needs and wants, my pleasures and disappointments and I reviewed the things I had been doing to see if they made any difference. I took the information and started to work on my “rest-of-life” plan but before I got too far I stumbled across a plan worked out by someone else. I decided I would follow his lead with maybe a few modifications. Here is his plan:

 

My Resignation

I am hereby officially tendering my resignation as an adult. I have decided I would like to accept the responsibilities of an 8 year-old.

I want to go to McDonald’s and think that it’s a four star restaurant.

I want to sail sticks across a fresh mud puddle and make a sidewalk with rocks.

I want to think M&Ms are better than money because you can eat them.

I want to lie under a big oak tree and run a lemonade stand with my friends on a hot summer’s day.

I want to return to a time when life was simple; When all you knew were colors, multiplication tables, and nursery rhymes, but that didn’t bother you, because you didn’t know what you didn’t know and you didn’t care. All you knew was to be happy because you were blissfully unaware of all the things that should make you worried or upset.

I want to think the world is fair. That everyone is honest and good.

I want to believe that anything is possible. I want to be oblivious to the complexities of life and be overly excited by the little things again.

I want to live simple again. I don’t want my day to consist of computer crashes, mountains of paperwork, depressing news, how to survive more days in the month than there is money in the bank, doctor bills, gossip, illness, and loss of loved ones.

I want to believe in the power of smiles, hugs, a kind word, truth, justice, peace, dreams, the imagination, mankind, and making angels in the snow.

So… here’s my checkbook and my car-keys, my credit card bills and my 401K statements. I am officially resigning from adulthood.

And if you want to discuss this further, you’ll have to catch me first, cause…………..”Tag! You’re it.”

~~~

If you carry your childhood with you, you never become older.

Tom Stoppard

~~~

What to Say to Telemarketers

  • The police photographer is still here, and the county medical examiner hasn’t released the body to the coroner yet. Can you call back a little later?
  • You called at the right time, buster. I’ll order carloads of whatever you got just to restore my credit rating. Those turkeys down at the bank go bananas over one little bounced check or two.
  • Well, you’ll have to send the stuff to my new address. As of next Wednesday, it’ll be care of the warden, maximum security wing, Attica Correction Facility, Attica, N.Y.
  • What’s that you say? Speak up, please, will you? The battery has run down on my hearing aid. Louder, please, louder. Is that the best you can do? I’m afraid we’re just not communicating.
  • I’m gonna have to put you on hold. The baby is due any minute now. Quick someone, get some hot water. Lots of it. Sorry, gotta hurry now, don’t go away.
  • Oh, it’s you again. I was hoping you’d call back. The better business people said I need more positive identification to file my complaint. Now first let me have your name and telephone number. Hello? Hello?
  • You better talk to my wife when she gets back from Reno. This place will be all hers then.
  • Excuse me, this nice police officer, here, said that I should inform you that my phone is being tapped. Now, what kind of drugs did you say you were selling?

~~~

I don’t repeat gossip, so listen carefully.

~~~

It was the end of the day when I parked my police van in front of the station. As I gathered my equipment, my K-9 partner, Jake, was barking, and I saw a little boy staring in at me. “Is that a dog you got back there?”  he asked.

“It sure is,” I replied. Puzzled, the boy looked at me and then towards the back of the van. Finally he said, “What’d he do?”

~~~

I know what men want. Men want to be really, really close to someone who will leave them alone.

Elayne Boosler

~~~

A little girl was watching her parents dress for a party. When she saw her dad donning his tuxedo, she warned, “Daddy, you shouldn’t wear that suit.”

“And why not, darling?”

“You know that it always gives you a headache next morning.”

~~~

“If love is the answer, could you please rephrase the question?”

Lily Tomlin

~~~

Church  Football

Quarterback Sneak – Church members quietly leaving during the invitation.

Draw Play – What many children do with the bulletin during worship.

Halftime – The period between Sunday School and worship when many choose to leave

Benchwarmer – Those who do not sing, pray, work, or apparently do anything but sit.

Backfield-in-Motion – Making a trip to the back (restroom or water fountain) during the service.

Staying in the Pocket – What happens to a lot of money that should be given to the Lord’s work.

Two-minute Warning – The point at which you realize the sermon is almost over and begin to gather up your children and belongings.

Instant Replay – The preacher loses his notes and falls back on last week’s illustrations.

Sudden Death – What happens to the attention span of the congregation if the preacher goes “overtime”.

Trap – You’re called on to pray and are asleep.

End Run – Getting out of church quick, without speaking to any guest or fellow member.

Flex Defense – The ability to allow absolutely nothing said during the sermon to affect your life.

Halfback Option – The decision of 50% of the congregation not to return for the evening service.

Blitz – The rush for the restaurants following the closing prayer.

~~~

A little girl had just finished her first week of school. “I’m wasting my time,” she said to her mother. “I can’t read, I can’t write – and they won’t let me talk!”

~~~

Six Jewish gentlemen were playing poker at the Condo Clubhouse when Meyerwitz loses $500 on a single hand, clutches his chest and drops dead at the table. Showing respect for their fallen comrade, the other five complete the evening of playing standing up. Finkelstein looks around and asks, “Who’s going to tell the wife?”

They draw straws. Goldberg, who is always a loser, draws the short one. They tell him to be discreet, be gentle, don’t make a bad situation any worse. “Gentlemen. ‘Discreet!’ I’m the most discreet man you will ever meet!  ‘Discreet’ is my middle name… Leave it to me.”

Goldberg walks over to the Meyerwitz apartment, knocks on the door. The wife answers, asks what he wants.Goldberg declares, “Your husband just lost $500 and is afraid to come home!”

She hollers, “Tell him he should drop dead!”

Goldberg says, “I’ll tell him!”

~~~

He carried his childhood like a hurt warm bird held to his middle-aged breast.

Herbert Gold

~~~

Stay well, do good work, and have fun.

Ray Mitchell

Indianapolis, Indiana

Management is not responsible for duplicates from previous dailies. The editor is somewhat senile.

This daily is sent only to special people who want to start their day on an upbeat. If you have system overload because of our daily clutter, let me know and I will send you the information via mental telepathy. If you have not been getting our daily you can request to be added by e-mailing me at raykiwsp@gmail.com. Back issues are posted at http://raykiwsp.wordpress.com/ currently there are about 2000 readers from around the world.

 

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