Ray's musings and humor

Run your own race

Find the seed at the bottom of your heart and bring forth a flower.

Shigenori Kameoka

! run-your-own-race

I think I have told you before that one of the realities of post retirement is that there is no reason that we can’t do what it is that will benefit us the most. In reality I think for many of us it is easier said than done. Some of us become so conditioned by the process of our lives so far that we find it hard to change.

I know I am still having trouble letting go. It does not make a lot of sense to keep running as fast as I can when I am no longer racing. I don’t have nearly as much to do as I once did but yet I do not find it all that easy to adjust to a more reasonable pace. I do know better than to keep running so I do spend more time relaxing and catching up then I do pursuing unrealistic tasks. I have already won more in my life than I ever thought I could so now it’s the time to stand on the sidelines and appreciate your successes.

Here is a story that I just read that started me thinking about where I am and what I am doing these days.

Run your own race and wish others well

I was jogging this morning and I noticed a person about 1/2 a kilometer ahead. I could tell he was running a little slower than me and I thought, good, I shall try to catch him. I had about a kilometer before I needed to turn off. So I started running faster and faster.

Every block, I was gaining on him just a little bit. After just a few minutes I was only about 100 meters behind him, so I really picked up the pace and pushed myself. You would have thought I was running in the last leg of an Olympic competition. I was determined to catch him.

Finally, I did it! I caught and passed him. On the inside, I felt so good. “I beat him” Of course, he didn’t even know we were racing. After I passed him, I realized I had been so focused on competing against him that I had missed my turn. I had gone nearly six blocks past my turn and I had to turn and go back.

Isn’t that what happens in life when we focus on competing with co-workers, neighbors, friends, family, trying to outdo them or trying to prove that we are more successful or more important?

We spend our time and energy running after them and we miss out on our own paths to our given destinies. The problem with unhealthy competition is that it’s a never ending cycle.

There will always be somebody ahead of you, someone with a better job, nicer car, more money in the bank, more education, a prettier wife, a more handsome husband, better behaved children, etc. But realize that “You can be the best that you can be, when you are not competing with anyone.”

Some people are insecure because they pay too much attention to what others are, where others are going, wearing and driving. Take whatever you have, the height, weight and personality. Dress well and wear it proudly, you’ll be blessed by it. Stay focused and live a healthy life. There is no competition in Destiny.

~~~

Dost thou love life? Then do not squander time, for that the stuff life is made of.

Benjamin Franklin

~~~

Over breakfast recently, my sister said to her husband, “I bet you don’t know what day this is.”

“Of course I do,” he indignantly answered, as he went out the door, heading to the office.

At 10 AM, the doorbell rang, and when my Sis opened the door, she was handed a box containing a dozen long stemmed red roses. At 1 PM, a foil wrapped, two pound box of her favorite chocolates arrived. Later, a boutique delivered a designer dress.

My sister couldn’t wait for her husband to come home. “First the flowers, then the chocolates, and then the dress!” she exclaimed.

Then grinning like a Cheshire cat, said, “I’ve never had a more wonderful Groundhog Day in my life!”

~~~

“Too bad the only people who know how to run the country are busy driving cabs and cutting hair.”

George Burns

~~~

A woman went to a computer dating service and said she didn’t care about looks, income or background. All she wanted was a man of upright character.

Then a man came in and told them the only thing he was seeking in a woman was intelligence.

The service matched them together at once because they had one thing in common — they were both pathological liars.

~~~

Never put off until tomorrow what you can forget about forever.

~~~

One night recently, my phone rang several times throughout the evening. Each time, a woman’s voice asked for Ben. Each time I politely explained that I lived alone, my name wasn’t Ben, and she had a wrong number. The fifth time she called, I had had enough.

“Hello”? I said.

“Can I speak to Ben, please”?

I replied, “I’m sorry, he’s not in right now. Can I take a message”?

“Do you know what time he’ll be back”? she responded.

“I think he said he’d be home around 10:00.”

Silence on the other end…a confused silence.

“Is this Steve”?

“Yes, it is. Do you want to leave a message for Ben”?

“Well, he said he would be home tonight and asked me to call him,” she said in a slightly irritated voice.

I replied, “Well, he went out with Karen about an hour ago and said that he would be back at 10:00.”

A shocked voice now, “Who’s Karen”?

“The girl he went out with.”

“I know that! I mean…who is she”?

“I don’t know her last name. Look, do you want me to leave a message for Ben”?

“Yes. Please do. Tell him to call me when he gets home.”

She was sounding pretty irate at this point. “I sure will. Is this Jennifer”?

She exploded, “Who’s Jennifer”? Apparently she wasn’t.

“Well, he’s going out with Jennifer at 10:00. I thought you were her. Sorry, it was an honest mistake.”

“Ben’s the one that’s made the mistake! Tell him that Alice called him and that she’s very upset and that I would like him to call me as soon as he gets home.”

I smiled and said, “Okay, I will, but Becky isn’t going to like this…”

~~~

Misers aren’t much fun to live with, but they make great ancestors.

~~~

Morris Schwartz is on his deathbed, knows the end is near, with his nurse, his wife, his daughter, and 2 sons. “So”, he says to them:

“Bernie, I want you to take the Beverly Hills houses.”

“Sybil, take the apartments over in Los Angeles Plaza .”

“Hymie, I want you to take the offices over in City Center .”

“Sarah, my dear wife, please take all the residential buildings downtown.”

The nurse is just blown away by all this, and as Morris slips away, she says,

“Mrs. Schwartz, your husband must have been such a hard working man to have accumulated all this property”.

Sarah replies,

“Property? … the schmuck has a paper route!”

~~~

Your ambition should be to get as much life out of living as you possibly can, as much enjoyment, as much interest, as much experience, as much understanding. Not simply be what is generally called a “success.”

Eleanor Roosevelt

~~~

Stay well, do good work, and have fun.

Ray Mitchell

Indianapolis, Indiana

Management is not responsible for duplicates from previous dailies. The editor is somewhat senile.

Ray’s Daily has been sent for more than fifteen years to people who want to start their day on an upbeat. If you have system overload because of our daily clutter, let me know and I will send you the information via mental telepathy. If you have not been getting our daily you can request to be added by e-mailing me at raykiwsp@gmail.com. Back issues are posted at https://raykiwsp.wordpress.com/ currently there are more than 2000 readers from around the world.

 

Happy?

If you want to be happy, be.

Leo Tolstoy

! I-wish-you-a-happy-life

For a number of reasons I was thinking about my children, grandchildren and my great-grandson and ended up again realizing that my overwhelming desire if for them to have happy lives. There is just no substitute for having the ability to enjoy our lives.

I think to a large extent happiness comes easiest for those who are willing to let happiness into their lives. It comes from placing value on what we have rather than on what we don’t have. Happy people seem to find it easy to trust and love others, including themselves. They seem to have the ability to see what is right in life without spending too much time agonizing over what is wrong.

So my friends as I wish my children happy lives I also hope you will find the happiness you deserve. Here is something I have always liked and I think it is a good day to share it with you.

Steps to Happiness

Everybody Knows:

You can’t be all things to all people.

You can’t do all things at once.

You can’t do all things equally well.

You can’t do all things better than everyone else.

Your humanity is showing just like everyone else’s.

So:

You have to find out who you are, and be that.

You have to decide what comes first, and do that.

You have to discover your strengths, and use them.

You have to learn not to compete with others,

Because no one else is in the contest of *being you*.

Then:

You will have learned to accept your own uniqueness.

You will have learned to set priorities and make decisions.

You will have learned to live with your limitations.

You will have learned to give yourself the respect that is due.

And you’ll be a most vital mortal.

Dare To Believe: That you are a wonderful, unique person.

That you are a once-in-all-history event.

That it’s more than a right, it’s your duty, to be who you are.

That life is not a problem to solve, but a gift to cherish.

And we’ll be able to stay one up on what used to get us.

May God Bless you and keep you safe,

Father Pat

~~~

Be happy for this moment. This moment is your life.

Omar Khayyam

~~~

Church Signs

Trespassers will be baptized!

“Free Trip to heaven. Details Inside!”

“Try our Sundays. They are better than Baskin Robbins.”

“People are like tea bags — you have to put them in hot water before you know how strong they are.”

“Fight truth decay — study the Bible daily.”

“How will you spend eternity – Smoking or Nonsmoking?”

“It is unlikely there’ll be a reduction in the wages of sin.”

“Do not wait for the hearse to take you to church.”

“Looking at the way some people live, they ought to obtain eternal fire insurance soon.”

“Running low on faith? Step in for a fill-up.”

~~~

“Friends are helpful not only because they will listen to us, but because they will laugh at us; Through them we learn a little objectivity, a little modesty, a little courtesy; We learn the rules of life and become better players of the game”

Will Durant

~~~

After being laid off from five different jobs in four months, my Uncle Joe was hired by a warehouse. One day he lost control of a forklift and drove it off the loading dock.

Surveying the damage, the owner shook his head and said he’d have to withhold 10 percent of Uncle Joe’s wages to pay for the repairs.

“How much will it cost?” asked my uncle.

“About $4,500,” said the owner.

“What a relief!” exclaimed Uncle Joe. “I’ve finally got job security!”

~~~

“He who sows courtesy reaps friendship, and he who plants kindness gathers love”

~~~

A patient at the dental office where I was a receptionist stopped by my desk to pay her bill.

She began rummaging through her purse, as so many patients did when they had a check to write.

“Do you need a pen”? I asked, offering her the use of mine.

“Yes, thank you,” she replied. She took it, put it in her handbag and proceeded to pay in cash.

~~~

Happiness cannot be traveled to, owned, earned, worn or consumed. Happiness is the spiritual experience of living every minute with love, grace, and gratitude.

Denis Waitley

~~~

Stay well, do good work, and have fun.

Ray Mitchell

Indianapolis, Indiana

Management is not responsible for duplicates from previous dailies. The editor is somewhat senile.

Ray’s Daily has been sent for more than fifteen years to people who want to start their day on an upbeat. If you have system overload because of our daily clutter, let me know and I will send you the information via mental telepathy. If you have not been getting our daily you can request to be added by e-mailing me at raykiwsp@gmail.com. Back issues are posted at https://raykiwsp.wordpress.com/ currently there are more than 2000 readers from around the world.

 

Take care of yourself

When things go wrong, don’t go with them.

Elvis Presley

Be Kind to yourself 2.jpg

Sorry about sleeping in yesterday. I have been pretty lazy these last few days including putting off somethings that need doing. So today I plan on doing better after I take a short nap.

I read an article the other day written by Terri R. Marshall entitled Taking Care of You . . . 25 Great Ways To Self-Nurture that includes some suggestions I plan on rereading and implementing as I think they may include funk busters I could use right now. Here is some of her suggestions.

Great Ways To Self-Nurture

Self-nurturing is taking care of yourself. Many people put themselves at the bottom of their own list of priorities. The result is burnout, exhaustion and resentment. We are unable to be at our best if we don’t take time out for ourselves to rest, relax and renew.

Self-nurturing does not have to be difficult or overly time-consuming. Anything that helps us feel more positive and joyful is self-nurturing. Below is a list of ideas, but don’t limit yourself. Think about simple pleasures that speak to you personally and incorporate them into your life each and every day. The result? A happier, healthier you!

  • Be Grateful (Keep a Gratitude Journal . . . write down 5 things you are grateful for each day)
  • Surround Yourself with Positive People (Choose people who help you grow and thrive.
  • Practice Kindness and Compassion (Remember to help and pray for others)
  • Give Praise and Let Go of Criticism
  • Do Not Complain (Learn to let it go)
  • Exercise (Choose something you really enjoy, why not try a type of mind/body/spirit exercise like yoga?)
  • Volunteer and Donate (Promote a cycle of goodwill; pay it forward)
  • Learn Proper Self-Care (Get enough sleep, detoxify, eat a healthy, balanced diet and drink plenty of water . . . learn to listen to your body)
  • Seek New Experiences and Knowledge (why not try a holistic therapy such as acupuncture or that store you’ve always wanted to go in, but never took the time)
  • Follow Your Bliss (Use your creativity, gifts and talents . . .begin a hobby or career you are passionate about)
  • Read a Good Book or Watch a Great Movie (Why not try reading some poetry?)
  • Laugh (Laughter truly is the best medicine)
  • Seek Solitude (Meditate, go within and get creative, try a fun excursion by yourself)
  • Use Positive Affirmations (Make a conscious choice to be happy)
  • Have a Cup of Your Favorite Coffee or Tea (Chamomile Tea is especially relaxing; avoid caffeine before bed)
  • Get Out in Nature (Try a walking meditation in the warm sunshine, spending time near the water, cloud watching or enjoying a beautiful sunset)
  • Remember the Purpose of Life is Joy!

~~~

Keep your face always toward the sunshine — and shadows will fall behind you.

Walt Whitman

~~~

Sadie bumps into her friend Rachel at the mall.

“You’re looking very tired today, Rachel. Did you have a late night?”

“Yes,” replies Rachel, “but it was all very strange. While doing some gardening yesterday, I found a lamp, so I rubbed it and out popped a genie. He gave me a choice of two wishes.”

“Wow, fantastic,” says Sadie, “so what were the choices he gave you, Rachel?”

“He said he could either give me an excellent, sharp, 100% memory or else he could make my Harry the best lover in the world.”

“So tell me already, Rachel, what did you choose?”

“I can’t remember,” replies Rachel.

~~~

A diplomat is a man who always remembers a woman’s birthday but never remembers her age.

Robert Frost

~~~

To Whom it May Concern:

I am hereby officially tendering my resignation as an adult. I have decided I would like to accept the responsibilities of an 8 year old again.

I want to go to McDonald’s and think that it’s a four star restaurant. I want to sail sticks across a fresh mud puddle and make ripples with rocks. I want to think M&Ms are better than money because you can eat them. I want to play dodgeball at recess and paint with watercolors in art. I want to lie under a big oak tree and run a lemonade stand with my friends on a hot summer’s day.

I want to return to a time when life was simple. When all you knew were colors, multiplication tables, and nursery rhymes, but that didn’t bother you, because you didn’t know what you didn’t know and you didn’t care. All you knew was to be happy because you were blissfully unaware of all the things that should make you worried or upset.

I want to think the world is fair. That everyone is honest and good. I want to believe that anything is possible. Somewhere in our youth, we matured and learned too much. There are nuclear weapons, war, prejudice, and abused children. Lies, unhappy marriages, illness, pain, and death. A world where companies poison our water and our soil, and children kill.

What happened to the time when we thought that everyone would live forever, because we didn’t grasp the concept of death? When the worst thing in the world was if someone took the jump rope from you or picked you last for kickball. I want to be oblivious to the complexities of life and be overly excited by the little things again.

I want to return to the days when children played hide-n-seek outside instead of being glued to a television, when video games were as harmless as Pac-Man…instead of spine-ripping, blood-splattering mind numbers like Mortal Combat, and TV still had some shows on that weren’t about sex, killing, and lies.

I remember being naive and thinking everyone was happy because I was. Afternoons were spent climbing trees and fences and riding my bike. I never worried about time, bills, or where I was going to find the money to fix my car. I used to wonder what I was going to do or be when I grew up, not worry about what I’ll do if this doesn’t work out. I want to live simple again.

I don’t want my day to consist of computer crashes, mountains of paperwork, depressing news, how to survive more days in the month than there is money in the bank, doctor bills, gossip, illness, and loss of loved ones. I want to believe in the power of smiles, hugs, a kind word, truth, justice, peace, dreams, the imagination, mankind, and making angels in the snow.

So…. here’s my checkbook and my car-keys, my credit card bills and my 401K statements. I am officially resigning from adulthood. And if you want to discuss this further, you’ll have to catch me first, ’cause. . .     “Tag! You’re it.”

~~~

It will never rain roses: when we want to have more roses, we must plant more roses

George Eliot

~~~

Stay well, do good work, and have fun.

Ray Mitchell

Indianapolis, Indiana

Management is not responsible for duplicates from previous dailies. The editor is somewhat senile.

Ray’s Daily has been sent for more than fifteen years to people who want to start their day on an upbeat. If you have system overload because of our daily clutter, let me know and I will send you the information via mental telepathy. If you have not been getting our daily you can request to be added by e-mailing me at raykiwsp@gmail.com. Back issues are posted at https://raykiwsp.wordpress.com/ currently there are more than 2000 readers from around the world.

 

Ray is sleeping

Hi everyone. Ray is sleeping in this morning so he asked me to send you one of his Dailys from the archive.

Ray’s Computer

! Nap.jpg

Ray’s Daily first published on August 23, 2004

There is so much opportunity for good people. Those who are fortunate enough to understand that and do something are those who are truly fulfilled. Ralph Waldo Emerson had it right when he wrote:

To laugh often and much;

to win the respect of intelligent people and the affection of children;

to earn the appreciation of honest critics and endure the betrayal of false friends;

to appreciate beauty; to find the best in others;

to leave the world a bit better, whether by a healthy child, a garden patch or a redeemed social condition;

to know even one life has breathed easier because you have lived.

This is to have succeeded.

~~~

Life is no brief candle to me. It is sort of a splendid torch which I have got hold of for a moment, and I want to make it burn as brightly as possible before handing it on to future generations.

George Bernard Shaw

~~~

Robert calls home to his wife and says, “Honey I have been asked to go fishing at a big lake up in Canada with my boss and several of his friends. We’ll be gone for a week. This is a good opportunity for me to get that promotion I’ve been wanting, so would you please pack me enough clothes for a week and set out my rod and tackle box. We’re leaving from the office and I will swing by the house to pick my things up. Oh! And please pack my new blue silk pajamas.”

His wife, Rhonda, thinks this sounds a little fishy but being a good wife she does exactly what her husband asked. The following weekend he comes home a little tired but otherwise looking good.

Rhonda welcomes him home and asks if he caught many fish. Robert says, “Yes! Lots of Walleye, some Blue gill, and a few Pike. But why didn’t you pack my new blue silk pajamas like I asked you to do?”

“I did,” Rhonda replies, “they were in your tackle box.”

~~~

Patience is never more important than when you are at the edge of losing it.

  1. A. Battista

~~~

Here’s the exercise program I am using to stay in shape this summer. You might want to take it easy at first, then do it faster as you become more proficient.  It may be too strenuous for some.

*Always Consult Your Doctor Before Starting Any Exercise Program*

Okay, let’s start…. Scroll Down…

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

Now Scroll Up…

Okay….that’s enough for the first day! Drink some water and rest.

~~~

A doctor examined a woman, took the husband aside, and said, “I don’t like the looks of your wife at all,” “Me neither doc,” said the husband. “But she’s a great cook and really good with the kids.

~~~

As the coals from our barbecue burned down, our hosts passed out marshmallows and long roasting forks. Just then, two fire trucks roared by, sirens blaring, lights flashing. They stopped at a house right down the block.

All twelve of us raced out of the back yard, down the street, where we found the owners of the blazing house standing by helplessly. They glared at us with looks of disgust. Suddenly, we realized why………we were all still holding our roasting forks with marshmallows on them….

~~~

It IS as BAD as you think, and they ARE out to get you.

~~~

After a young couple brought their new baby home, the wife suggested that her husband should try his hand at changing diapers. “I’m busy,” he said, “I’ll do the next one.”

The next time came around and she asked again. The husband looked puzzled,

“Oh! I didn’t mean the next diaper. I meant the next baby!”

~~~

The wife heard her husband come back into the house not too long after he had left. She said, “Hon, I thought you were going to your lodge meeting.”

“It was postponed.” he replied. “The wife of the Grand Exalted Invincible Supreme Potentate wouldn’t let him attend tonight.”

~~~

Ever stop to think, and forget to start again?

~~~

A first grade teacher collected well known proverbs. She gave each child in her class the first half of a proverb and asked them to come up with the rest.

  • Strike while the …………………….bug is close.
  • It’s always darkest before………………Daylight Saving Time.
  • Never underestimate the power of……….termites.
  • Don’t bite the hand that………………..looks dirty.
  • You can’t teach an old dog new…………..math.
  • If you lie down with dogs, you’ll…………stink in the morning.
  • Where there’s smoke there’s……………..pollution.
  • Happy the bride who……………………..gets all the presents.
  • A penny saved is…………………………not much.
  • Two’s company, three’s………………….the Musketeers.
  • Laugh and the whole world laughs with you, cry and….you have to blow your nose.
  • There are none so blind as……………….Stevie Wonder.
  • If at first you don’t succeed…………….don’t skydive.
  • When the blind leadeth the blind………….get out of the way.
  • Better late than………………………pregnant!!!!

~~~

There is truth in what they say about the sexes. Men like cars, women like clothes. I also like cars because they take me to clothes.

– Rita Rudner –

~~~

One of our clients brought in his massive Doberman pinscher to be spayed. As a veterinary assistant, I escort the patient into the doctor’s office. But before taking this dog’s leash, I glimpsed those large teeth of her’s and asked the owner.

“Is she friendly?”

“Friendly?” said the man…….”She’s had five litters!”

~~~

Two guys were discussing popular family trends on sex, marriage, and values.  Stu said, “I didn’t sleep with my wife before we got married, did you?”

Leroy replied, “I’m not sure; what was her maiden name?”

~~~

Whatever we are waiting for — peace of mind, contentment, grace, the inner awareness of simple abundance —  it will surely come to us, but only when we are ready to receive it with an open and grateful heart.”

Sarah Van Breathnach

~~~

Stay well, do good work, and have fun.

Ray Mitchell

Indianapolis, Indiana

Management is not responsible for duplicates from previous dailies. The editor is somewhat senile.

Ray’s Daily has been sent for more than fifteen years to people who want to start their day on an upbeat. If you have system overload because of our daily clutter, let me know and I will send you the information via mental telepathy. If you have not been getting our daily you can request to be added by e-mailing me at raykiwsp@gmail.com. Back issues are posted at https://raykiwsp.wordpress.com/ currently there are more than 2000 readers from around the world.

 

It’s just not worth it

“Worry does not empty tomorrow of its sorrow, it empties today of its strength.”

Corrie ten Boom

! worry2.jpg

I hope you had a good weekend. Mine was uneventful I spent most of it fighting off respiratory problems. I am at the age where life is lived one day at a time so minor problems are really not that big a deal. As I think I have told you before I have learned not to worry until it is too late to worry. When something does take me down temporally I have not made it worse by worrying in advance.

Don’t let worry steal from your happiness. Here is a piece that I think is right on.

YESTERDAY, TODAY, TOMORROW

             There are two days in every week about which we should not worry.

             Two days which should be kept free from fear and apprehension.

 

            One of these days is yesterday with its mistakes and cares,

             Its faults and blunders, Its aches and pains.

             Yesterday has passed forever beyond our control.

             All the money in the world cannot bring back yesterday.

             We cannot undo a single act we performed.

             We cannot erase a single word we said. Yesterday is gone.

 

            The other day we should not worry about is tomorrow.

             With its possible adversities, Its burdens,

             Its large promise and poor performance.

             Tomorrow is also beyond our immediate control.

             Tomorrow’s Sun will rise, either in splendor or behind a mask of clouds,

             but it will rise.

             Until it does, we have no stake in tomorrow, for it is yet unborn.

             This just leaves only one day . . . Today.

             Any person can fight the battles of just one day.

             It is only when you and I add the burdens of those two awful eternity’s –

             yesterday and tomorrow that we break down.

             It is not the experience of today that drives people mad.

             It is the remorse or bitterness for something which happened yesterday

             and the dread of what tomorrow may bring.

 

            Let us therefore live but one day at a time.

 

Author Unknown

~~~

You’re only here for a short visit. Don’t hurry, don’t worry. And be sure to smell the flowers along the way. Walter Hagen

~~~

A young Jewish boy starts attending public school in a small town. The teacher of the one-room school decides to use her position to try to influence the new student. She asks the class, “Who was the greatest man that ever lived?”

A girl raises her hand and says, “I think George Washington was the greatest man that ever lived because he is the Father of our country.”

The teacher replies, “Well…that’s a good answer, but that’s not the answer I am looking for.”

Another young student raises his hand and says, “I think Abraham Lincoln was the greatest man that lived because he freed the slaves and helped end the civil war.” … “Well, that’s another good answer, but that is not the one I was looking for.”

Then the new Jewish boy raises his hand and says, “I think Jesus Christ was the greatest man that ever lived.” The teacher’s mouth drops open in astonishment. “Yes!” she says, “that’s the answer I was looking for.”

She then brings him up to the front of the classroom and gives him a lollipop.

Later, during recess, another Jewish boy approaches him as he is licking his lollipop. He says, “Why did you say, ‘Jesus Christ’?” The boy stops licking his lollipop and replies, “I know it’s Moses, and YOU know it’s Moses, but business is business.”

~~~

Is the reason firemen always have Dalmatian dogs with them so that they can find the fire hydrants?

~~~

Future Novelists… These are actual analogies and metaphors found in high school essays

  • Her face was a perfect oval, like a circle that had its two other sides gently compressed by a thigh master.
  • His thoughts tumbled in his head, making and breaking alliances like underpants in a dryer without Cling Free.
  • He spoke with wisdom that can only come from experience, like a guy who went blind because he looked at a solar eclipse without one of those boxes with a pinhole in it and now goes around the country speaking about the dangers of looking at a solar eclipse without one of those boxes with a pinhole in it.
  • She grew on him like E. coli and he was room temperature Canadian beef.
  • He was a tall as a six foot three inch tree.
  • The revelation that his marriage of 30 years had disintegrated because of his wife’s infidelity came as a rude shock, like a surcharge at a formerly surcharge free ATM.
  • The little boat gently drifted across the pond exactly the way a bowling ball wouldn’t.
  • McBride fell 12 stories, hitting the pavement like a hefty bag filled with vegetable soup.
  • From the attic came an unearthly howl. The whole scene had an eerie surreal quality, like when you’re on vacation in another city and Jeopardy comes on at 7 pm instead of 7:30.
  • Long separated by cruel fate, the star crossed lovers raced across a grassy field toward each other like two freight trains, one having left Cleveland at 6:36 p.m. traveling at 55 mph, the other from Topeka at 4:19 p.m. at a speed of 35 mph.
  • He fell for her like his heart was a mob informant and she was the east river.
  • The plan was simple, like my brother-in-law Phil.  But unlike Phil, this plan just might work.
  • “Oh, Jason, take me!” she panted, her breasts heaving like a college freshman on $1-a-beer night.
  • The Ballerina rose gracefully en pointe and extended one slender leg behind her, like a dog at a fire hydrant.

~~~

All the good ones, no matter what it is, are taken.

~~~

A father asks his son, now aged 13, if he knows about the birds and the bees.

“I don’t want to know!” the child said, bursting into tears.

Confused, the father asked his son what was wrong.

“Oh dad,” he sobbed, “at age six I got the ‘there’s no Santa’ speech. At age seven I got the ‘there’s no Easter bunny’ speech. Then at age 8 you hit me with the ‘there’s no tooth fairy’ speech! If you’re going to tell me now that grown-ups don’t really have sex, I’ve got nothing left to live for!

~~~

Enjoy the little things, for one day you may look back and realize they were the big things.

Robert Brault

~~~

She said: My son is an avid listener to our city’s police frequency, and he leaves the scanner on all the time. One morning while making his bed, I heard the dispatcher say, “Car 34, there is a six-foot boa constrictor in a front yard. The resident wants a policeman to come and remove it.” There was a long pause, then some static. Slowly, a voice said, “We can’t get the car started.”

~~~

Our fatigue is often caused not by work, but by worry, frustration and resentment.

Dale Carnegie

~~~

Stay well, do good work, and have fun.

Ray Mitchell

Indianapolis, Indiana

Management is not responsible for duplicates from previous dailies. The editor is somewhat senile.

Ray’s Daily has been sent for more than fifteen years to people who want to start their day on an upbeat. If you have system overload because of our daily clutter, let me know and I will send you the information via mental telepathy. If you have not been getting our daily you can request to be added by e-mailing me at raykiwsp@gmail.com. Back issues are posted at https://raykiwsp.wordpress.com/ currently there are more than 2000 readers from around the world.

 

Stay Cool!

“For every minute you remain angry, you give up sixty seconds of peace of mind.”

Ralph Waldo Emerson

anger

One of the best things I learned over the years was that people could not make me angry and if I did get angry it was only because I let them get to me. If I have one message I would love to pass on to my grandchildren is to please avoid letting anger steal from your happiness. Here are some thoughts from an article written by Byron Pulsifer more than five years ago for your consideration.

Do Not Take It Personally

All of us meet hundreds of people during a lifetime and some of these people are memorable, some we really like, and some who seem to be forever in their own space most often ignoring or unaware of their own attitudes either consciously or unconsciously. And, for a lot of us, the actions, or reactions of these types of people can certainly annoy us or aggravate us and lead us to take their behaviors personally.

For example, how many times have you been driving to work when another motorist has cut you off, made a dangerous lane change without signaling, or nearly rear-ended you because they were tail gating you? I’m sure this has happened to you. How did you react?  Did you react emotionally by blowing your horn incessantly, speed up to catch them and give them a rude gesture, or did you just sit there boiling over? In other words, did you take this action by the other driver personally? Well, at one time or another, we have all probably felt this way and allowed this inconsiderate motorist to ruin the rest of your day. So, what have you done? You took their actions personally.

And, what about that colleague who is never wrong, and where you are never right? Is this kind of person telling you more about yourself, or are they really making an unconscious statement about who they are, and their own need for ego enhancement? Do not take his or her actions personally or you are allowing someone else to tell you who you are and what you are worth.

The message should be clear to all of us. We are human beings full of emotions and behaviors but we all have a choice to make our lives what we want; our perceptions and reactions can be controlled if we understand that there are hundreds of inputs every day that call us to respond. How we respond is not dictated to us as if we are programmed to respond a certain way; we are not robots. Choose your reactions based on who you are not on some extraneous event or someone else’s needs.

~~~

“No one else can ever make your choices for you. Your choices are yours alone. They are as much a part of you as every breath you will take, every moment of your life.”

Dr. Shad Helmstetter’

~~~

The temperature had taken an overnight plunge and Minnesota reaffirmed its reputation as one of the nation’s coldest states. Despite a wind-chill of minus 40, we steelworkers erecting a TV tower in a Minneapolis-St. Paul suburb showed up for work. By 9 a.m., a tall Texan climbed down from the tower and entered the office trailer. He took his lunch pail from the shelf and headed for the door.

“What’s up?” the foreman asked. “You sick?”

“Nope,” the Texan replied. “Goin’ home to get my jacket.”

“Where’s home?” the foreman persisted.

“Dallas,” he said.

~~~

“Egotism is the anesthetic that dulls the pain of stupidity.”

Frank Leahy

~~~

An acquaintance of mine whose daughter was about to be married decided to give her a diamond ring that had been in the family for several generations.  The stone had never been appraised, so the father asked a gemologist friend if she would take a look at it.  She agreed, but said that instead of a fee she’d accept lunch at one of Houston’s finer restaurants.

A few days later, as he and the gem expert sat sipping a glass of Chablis, he showed her the ring.  She took out her jeweler’s loupe, examined the diamond carefully and handed it back.

“Wow,” said a diner who had been watching from the next table.  “These Texas women are tough!”

~~~

Last night I saw a movie with a happy ending…. everybody was glad it was over.

~~~

“The Good Old Days” This may be a repeat, I just needed the reminder.

“Hey Dad,” one kid asked the other day, “what was your favorite fast food when you were growing up?”

“We didn’t have fast food when I was growing up,” I informed him. “All the food was slow.”

“C’mon, seriously. Where did you eat?” “It was a place called “at home,” I explained. “Grandma cooked every day and when Grandpa got home from work, we sat down together at the dining room table, and if I didn’t like what she put on my plate I was allowed to sit there until I did like it.”

By this time, the kid was laughing so hard I was afraid he was going to suffer serious internal damage, so I didn’t tell him the part about how I had to have permission to leave the table. But here are some other things I would have told him about my childhood if I figured his system could have handled it:

Some parents NEVER owned their own house, wore Levis, set foot on a golf course, traveled out of the country or had a credit card. In their later years they had something called a revolving charge card. The card was good only at Sears Roebuck. Or maybe it was Sears AND Roebuck. Either way, there is no Roebuck anymore. Maybe he died. My parents never drove me to soccer practice. This was mostly because we never had heard of soccer.

Bicycles weighed probably 50 pounds, and only had one speed, (slow). We didn’t have a television in our house until I was 11, but my grandparents had one before that. It was, of course, black and white, but they bought a piece of colored plastic to cover the screen. The top third was blue, like the sky, and the bottom third was green, like grass. The middle third was red. It was perfect for programs that had scenes of fire trucks riding across someone’s lawn on a sunny day. Some people had a lens taped to the front of the TV to make the picture look larger.

I was 13 before I tasted my first pizza. It was called “pizza pie.” When I bit into it, I burned the roof of my mouth and the cheese slid off, swung down, plastered itself against my chin and burned that, too. It’s still the best pizza I ever had.

We didn’t have a car until I was 15. Before that, the only car in our family was my grandfather’s Ford. He called it a “machine.” I never had a telephone in my room. The only phone in the house was in the living room. Before you could dial, you had to listen and make sure some people you didn’t know weren’t already using the line (called a Party Line).

Pizzas were not delivered to our home. But milk was. All newspapers were delivered by boys and all boys delivered newspapers. I delivered a newspaper, six days a week. It cost 7 cents a paper, of which I got to keep 2 cents. I had to get up at 4:00 am every morning. On Saturday, I had to collect the 42 cents from my customers. My favorite customers were the ones who gave me 50 cents and told me to keep the change. My least favorite customers were the ones who seemed to never be home on collection day.

Movie stars kissed with their mouths shut. At least, they did in the movies. I don’t know what they did in French movies. French movies were dirty and we weren’t allowed to see them.

If you grew up in a generation before there was fast food, you may want to share some of these memories with the young ones. Just don’t blame me if they bust a gut laughing. Growing up isn’t what it used to be, is it?

~~~

“The right to be heard does not automatically include the right to be taken seriously.”

Hubert H. Humphrey

~~~

Sadie, the marriage broker goes to see Mr. Cohen, a confirmed bachelor for many years.

“Mr. Cohen, don’t let it get too late. I have exactly the one you need. Just say to me, ok, and you’ll meet, and in no time, you’ll be married to this fine women.”

“Don’t bother Sadie,I have two sisters at home that handle all my needs.”

“All well and good, Mr. Cohen, but all the sisters in the world cannot fill the role of a wife.”

“But Sadie, I didn’t say they were my sisters.”

~~~

“It’s a difficult truth to face that some people choose to define themselves by the pain they feel or the wrongs they’ve suffered. They’re not going through hard times so much as making all times hard.”

Dani Harper

~~~

Stay well, do good work, and have fun.

Ray Mitchell

Indianapolis, Indiana

Management is not responsible for duplicates from previous dailies. The editor is somewhat senile.

Ray’s Daily has been sent for more than fifteen years to people who want to start their day on an upbeat. If you have system overload because of our daily clutter, let me know and I will send you the information via mental telepathy. If you have not been getting our daily you can request to be added by e-mailing me at raykiwsp@gmail.com. Back issues are posted at https://raykiwsp.wordpress.com/ currently there are more than 2000 readers from around the world.

 

I like your attitude

A positive attitude causes a chain reaction of positive thoughts, events and outcomes. It is a catalyst and it sparks extraordinary results.

Wade Boggs

attitude-matters-a-lot

I am off to a Kiwanis meeting this morning where our club will showcase some of its attributes to prospective members. Years ago I realized that the benefits I received by being a member of my club was something I should offer to my friends so they could find the same enjoyment as I have for almost forty years.

My membership has provided the opportunity to spend time with folks from a wide variety of vocations many who have become lifelong friends. The speakers who have presented at the meetings have given me insight into our city that is not available to the general public and probably most important of all we have teamed up to make our community a better place to live through our service.

I am glad so many of my friends have accepted my gift of membership over the years many who have gone on to fill key club leadership positions. I think the most common trait exhibited by our members is a positive attitude.

As I was writing this today I remembered an article written years ago by a fellow member of our Indy Leadership group. I saved the article and would like to share some of the authors thoughts with you.

Attitude Rules

  • With a positive attitude, you can learn something from every experience. Even the less-than-satisfying jobs or assignments can expose you to information or resources that may very well help you later on.
  • We have two eyes, two ears and one mouth. Listen and observe more than you talk.  Carefully process things before making a decision.  Assure yourself that you know the whole story before drawing a conclusion or speaking out. 
  • Sharing control – whether it’s the whole company or just one project – requires trust and collaboration. Sometimes, it also requires patience if things don’t work out exactly as you hoped.  Don’t let mistakes or missteps paralyze you.  Even when minor setbacks occur, you are still better off when you share responsibility.
  • Success is often determined not by how you handle the good times, rather by how you navigate through rocky waters. In recent years, we have all been challenged — in our jobs and our lives – by the harsh realities of an economic downturn. 
  • My sister Jane and I decided more than 30 years ago that the world is made up of two kinds of people: the Oh No’s and the Oh Well’s.  We made a pact to live out our lives as Oh Well’s.  That simple decision has paid off for me over and over. Oh Well doesn’t mean complacency or indifference.  It represents an acceptance of the reality with a resolve to work through the situation.
  • Learn how to have the tough conversations that we all need to have…with customers or clients, with co-workers or bosses, with spouses or children, parents or friends. Being clear and direct in a timely manner is better for everyone.

Socrates said, “The unexamined life is not worth living.”  It may sound harsh but, to me, it’s a good reminder that status quo is never healthy.  We must continue to examine ourselves and learn from others.  These are the things that breed success.

By Myra Borshoff Cook

~~~

“The next best thing to a yes is a quick no.”

~~~

Watching TV news shows I found out our highways aren’t safe, our schools aren’t safe, our parks aren’t safe but under our arms we have complete protection.

~~~

On an airplane, I overheard a flight attendent talking to an elderly couple in front of me.

Learning that it was the couple’s 50th wedding anniversary, the flight attendant congratulated them and asked how they had done it.

“It all felt like five minutes…” the gentleman said slowly. The stewardess had just begun to remark on what a sweet statement that was when he finished his sentence with a word that earned him a sharp smack on the head: “underwater.”

~~~

“Isn’t it interesting that the same people who laugh at science fiction listen to weather forecasts and economists?”

Kelvin Throop III

~~~

Engineering classes at the University of Maryland are tough, and struggling students sometimes go to extremes in order to pass. Grading exams one semester, I got to this question: “What is the relationship between kinetic and potential energy?”

One student, obviously stumped, decided to get clever and wrote, “As far as I know, they’re just friends, but there could be something else going on there.”

~~~

Your conscience may not keep you from doing wrong, but it sure keeps you from enjoying it.

~~~

The courtroom was pregnant with anxious silence as the judge solemnly considered his verdict in the paternity suit before him. Suddenly, he reached into the folds of his robe, drew out a cigar, and ceremoniously handed it to the defendant.

“Congratulations,” he said. “You have just become a father.”

~~~

“Nice guys finish last, but we get to sleep in.”

Evan Davis

~~~

An out-of-towner driving east in Crown Heights Brooklyn pulls up his car next to a local Hassid and asks, “How far is it to Fifth Avenue in Manhattan?”

The Hassid considers it for a moment, then answers “The way you’re going, about twenty-four thousand miles.”

~~~

Junk is something you throw away three weeks before you need it

~~~

Although this married couple enjoyed their new fishing boat together, it was the husband who was behind the wheel operating the boat. He was concerned about what might happen in an emergency.

So, one day out on the lake, he said to his wife, “Please take the wheel, dear. Pretend that I am having a heart attack. You must get the boat safely to shore and dock it.”

So, she drove the boat to shore.

Later that evening, the wife walked into the living room where her husband was watching television. She sat down next to him, switched the TV channel and said to him, “Please go into the kitchen, dear. Pretend I’m having a heart attack and set the table, cook dinner and wash the dishes.”

~~~

Find a place inside where there’s joy, and the joy will burn out the pain.

Joseph Campbell

~~~

Stay well, do good work, and have fun.

Ray Mitchell

Indianapolis, Indiana

Management is not responsible for duplicates from previous dailies. The editor is somewhat senile.

Ray’s Daily has been sent for more than fifteen years to people who want to start their day on an upbeat. If you have system overload because of our daily clutter, let me know and I will send you the information via mental telepathy. If you have not been getting our daily you can request to be added by e-mailing me at raykiwsp@gmail.com. Back issues are posted at https://raykiwsp.wordpress.com/ currently there are more than 2000 readers from around the world.

 

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