Ray's musings and humor

Just smiling goes a long way toward making you feel better about life. And when you feel better about life, your life is better.

Art Linkletter,

feeling-good

I have a busy morning today as I get to have my Ophthalmologist check on how my eye is healing after last week’s surgery. After that I am off to my Hematologist for tests and to see if my recent iron infusions have helped bring my hemoglobin levels up to acceptable levels. Once I get these issues behind me it is then again time for my heart doctors to do their stuff. In reality I am doing pretty well.

Here in my hometown the rains have stopped, the rivers and streams are returning to normal levels and tomorrow will be a great day at the farmers markets. I will load up on the sweetest corn you could ever taste, add some homemade baked goods, buy some produce fresh out of the fields and enjoy a great weekend. I may even find a feel-good movie I can go see. I plan on enjoying the next few days and will see you next week.

Speaking of feel-good here is a story that warms my soul; you may enjoy it as well.

Somebody is proud of you

A teenager lived alone with his father, and the two of them had a very special relationship. Even though the son was always on the bench, his father was always in the stands cheering. He never missed a game. This young man was still the smallest of the class when he entered high school. But his father continued to encourage him but also made it very clear that he did not have to play football if he didn’t want to. But the young man loved football and decided to hang in there.

He was determined to try his best at every practice, and perhaps he’d get to play when he became a senior. All through high school he never missed a practice nor a game, but remained a bench. His faithful father was always in the stands, always with words of encouragement for him.  

When the young man went to college, he decided to try out for the football team as a “walk-on.” Everyone was sure he could never make the cut, but he did. The coach admitted that he kept him on the roster because he always puts his heart and soul to every practice, and at the same time, provided the other members with the spirit and hustle they badly needed.   The news that he had survived the cut thrilled him so much that he rushed to the nearest phone and called his father. His father shared his excitement and was sent season tickets for all the college games. This persistent young athlete never missed practice during his four years at college, but he never got to play in the game. It was the end of his senior football season, and as he trotted onto the practice field shortly before the big play off game, the coach met him with a telegram.

The young man read the telegram and he became deathly silent. Swallowing hard, he mumbled to the coach, “My father died this morning. Is it all right if I miss practice today?” The coach put his arm gently around his shoulder and said, “Take the rest of the week off, son. And don’t even plan to come back to the game on Saturday.  

In the third quarter, when the team was ten points behind, a silent young man quietly slipped into the empty locker room and put on his football gear. As he ran onto the sidelines, the coach and his players were astounded to see their faithful teammate back so soon. “Coach, please let me play. I’ve just go to play today,” said the young man. The coach pretended not to hear him. There was no way he wanted his worst player in this close.

Feeling sorry for the kid, the coach gave in. “All right,” he said. “You can go in.” Before long, the coach, the players and everyone in the stands could not believe their eyes. This little unknown, who had never played before was doing everything right. The opposing team could not stop him. He ran, he passed, blocked and tackled like a star. His team began to triumph. The score was soon tied. In the closing seconds of the game, this kid intercepted a pass and ran all the way for the winning touchdown. The fans broke loose. His teammates hoisted him onto their shoulders. Such cheering you’ve never heard! Finally, after the stands had emptied and the team had showered and left the locker room, the coach noticed that the young man was sitting quietly in the corner all alone.

The coach came to him and said, “Kid, I can’t believe it. You were fantastic! Tell me what got into you? How did you do it?” He looked at the coach, with tears in his eyes, and said, “Well, you knew my dad died, but did you know that my dad was blind?” The young man swallowed hard and forced a smile, “Dad came to all my games, but today was the first time he could see me play, and I wanted to show him I could do it!”

~~~

There are souls in this world who have the gift of finding joy everywhere and leaving it behind them when they go.

Faber

~~~

A four-year-old boy and his father went to the beach. There was a dead seagull lying on the sand. The boy asked his father, ”Dad, what happened to the birdie?” His dad told him, ”Son, the bird died and went to heaven.”

Then the boy asked, ”Did God throw him back down?”

~~~

Remember the good old days when people killed time by working instead of by taking coffee breaks?

~~~

Ron just got a new sports car and was out for a drive when he cut off a truck driver. The trucker motioned for Ron to pull over. When he did, the driver got out of his truck and pulled a piece of chalk from his pocket. He drew a circle on the road and told Ron to stand in the circle and not move.

He then went to Ron’s new car and cut up the leather seats. When the truck driver turned around Ron had a slight grin on his face. “Oh, you think that’s funny?” the trucker asked, “Watch this.” He got a baseball bat out of his truck and broke every window in the car. When he turned and looked Ron had a smile on his face. This drove the driver into a rage.

He got his knife back out and sliced all the tires. Now Ron was laughing. The truck driver really started to lose it. He went back to his truck and got a can of gas, poured it on the sports car and set it on fire. He turned around and Ron was laughing so hard he almost fell down. “What’s so funny?” The truck driver asked him.

Ron replied, “When you weren’t looking, I stepped outside the circle 4 times.”

~~~

There are no new sins….the old ones just get more publicity.

~~~

After creating heaven and earth, God created Adam and Eve. And the first thing He said to them was, “Don’t.”

“Don’t what?” Adam asked.

“Don’t eat the forbidden fruit,” God said.

“Forbidden fruit? We got forbidden fruit? Hey, Eve! We got Forbidden Fruit!”

“No way!”

“Yes WAY!”

“Don’t eat that fruit!” said God.

“Why?”

“Because I’m your Creator and I said so!” said God, wondering why he hadn’t stopped after making the elephants. A few minutes later, God saw the kids having an apple break and was angry. “Didn’t I tell you not to eat that fruit?” God asked.

“Uh huh,” Adam replied.

“Then why did you?”

“I dunno,” Eve answered.

“She started it!” Adam said.

“Did Not!”

“DID so!”

“DID NOT!”

Having had it with the two of them, God’s punishment was that Adam and Eve should have children of their own.

~~~

Cheerfulness keeps up a kind of daylight in the mind and fills it with a steady and perpetual serenity.

Joseph Addison

~~~

Stay well, do good work, and have fun.

Ray Mitchell

Indianapolis, Indiana

Management is not responsible for duplicates from previous dailies. The editor is somewhat senile.

This daily is sent only to special people who want to start their day on an upbeat. If you have system overload because of our daily clutter, let me know and I will send you the information via mental telepathy. If you have not been getting our daily you can request to be added by e-mailing me at raykiwsp@gmail.com. Back issues are posted at https://raykiwsp.wordpress.com/ currently there are more than 2000 readers from around the world.

Don’t aim for success if you want it; just do what you love and believe in, and it will come naturally.

David Frost

Do-What-Makes-You-Happy

Well gang it is another one of those days, I am moving slow this morning so I decided to share with you what I wrote in the Daily eight years ago.

Ray’s Daily first published July 30, 2007

If I asked you what success was, what would you say? I know many would answer that is some achievement that meets other people’s definitions; big money, titles, medals, awards and the like. It is as if they believe that success comes from exceeding the measurements set by others. I prefer to think of it as defined by one of the definitions in the dictionary — The achievement of something desired.

The reason I asked is that I had coffee on Saturday with a truly successful lady, she is smart, has an MBA, has high energy, and excels on a daily basis. We first met a few years ago when she was struggling with what career path she wanted to follow. One that could be based on her education and business experience or one based on her desire to help others. She decided to help others.

These days she provides companionship and care to developmentally disabled adults. If they need help with their bank account, getting groceries, paying bills or almost anything else, she is there. One of the things that impresses me the most is that she talks about these people as friends and with respect. She even has one of these good friends who partners with her on a Meals on Wheels route. If that was not enough she spends her spare time visiting with other friends she has made over the years. As an example she told how much she loves going to the farmers market with one of them each Saturday as they both buy food for their individual home needs. Of course she does not make very much money, but her and her supportive husband have decided that they don’t need more than they have.

The reason we met was she wanted to share with me that she had decided not to pursue a promotion in her organization supervising other care givers. Why? Because she would no longer get the joy she experiences when she holds the hand of someone in need that loves her. People still talk about her making the choice she has made, after all she has an MBA, but I doubt that they know what success really is, but I know that she does.

Our world would be a better place if more people would choose their own path to success, a place where they would reap the real rewards the world has to offer.

~~~

We can do no great things, only small things with great love.

Mother Teresa

~~~

The children begged for a hamster and after the usual fervent vows that they alone would care for it, they got one. They named it Danny. Two months later, when Mom found herself responsible for cleaning and feeding the creature, she located a prospective new home for it. The children took the news of Danny’s imminent departure quite well, though one of them remarked, “He’s been around here a long time, we’ll miss him.”

“Yes,” Mom replied, “But he’s too much work for one person and since I’m that one person, I say he goes.”

Another child offered, “Well, maybe if he wouldn’t eat so much and wouldn’t be so messy, we could keep him.”

But Mom was firm. “It’s time to take Danny to his new home now,” she insisted. “Go and get his cage.”

With one voice and in tearful outrage the children shouted, “Danny? We thought you said Daddy!”

~~~

People are never too busy to tell you all they have to do.

~~~

A Nebraska farmer got in his pickup and drove to a neighboring Farm and knocked at the farmhouse door. A young boy about 9 opened the door. “Is yer Pa home?” the farmer asked.

No sir, he ain’t,” the boy replied. “He went into town.”

“Well”, said the farmer, “is yer Ma here?”

“No, sir, she ain’t here neither. She went into town with Pa.”

“How about your brother, Howard? Is he here?”

“He went with Ma and Pa.”

The farmer stood there for a few minutes, shifting from one foot to the other and mumbling to himself. “Is there anything I can do fer ya?” the boy asked politely. “I knows where all the tools are, if you want to borry one. Or maybe I Could take a message fer Pa.”

“Well,” said the farmer uncomfortably, “I really wanted to talk to yer Pa. It’s about your brother Howard getting my daughter, Pearly Mae, pregnant.”

The boy considered for a moment. “You would have to talk to Pa About that,” he finally conceded. “If it helps you any, I know that Pa charges $50 for the bull and $25 for the hog, but, I really don’t know how much he gets for Howard.”

~~~

“Someone’s boring me. I think it’s me.”

Dylan Thomas

~~~

I was setting up a large, cast aluminum, decorative sundial in my yard that I had purchased from a garden catalog.

A neighbor, an old Florida cracker, was leaning on the fence watching my progress and asked, “What the heck’s that for?”

I explained, “It’s a sun dial, see the sun will hit that small triangular spike and cast a shadow on the face of the sundial. Then, as the sun moves across the sky, the shadow also moves across the calibrated dial, enabling a person to determine the correct time.”

My neighbor shook his head and muttered,. “Huh, what will they think of next?”

~~~

“I was coming back from Canada, driving through Customs, and the guy asked, “Do you have any firearms with you?” I said, “What do you need?”

Steven Wright

~~~

Two men were walking through the woods and came upon a big black, deep hole. One man picked up a rock and tossed it into the hole and stood listening for the rock to hit bottom. There was no sound. He turned to the other guy and said “that must be a deep hole…let’s throw a bigger rock in there and listen for it to hit bottom.” The men found a bigger rock and both picked it up and lugged it to the hole and dropped it in.

They listened for some time and never heard a sound. Again, they agreed that this must be one deep hole and maybe they should throw something even bigger into it. One man spotted a rail-road tie nearby. They picked up the tie, grunting and groaning, and lugged it to the hole. They tossed it in. No sound. All of a sudden, a goat came flying out of the woods, running like the wind, and flew past the men and jumped straight into the hole. The men were amazed.

About that time, an old hayseed farmer came out of the woods and asked the men if they had seen a goat. One man told the farmer of the incredible incident they had just witnessed…they had just seen this goat fly out of the woods and run and leap into the big hole. The man asked the farmer if this could have been his goat. The old farmer said “naw, that can’t be my goat…he was chained to a railroad tie.”

~~~

Unless someone like you cares a whole awful lot, nothing is going to get better. It’s not.

Dr. Seuss

~~~

Stay well, do good work, and have fun.

Ray Mitchell

Indianapolis, Indiana

Management is not responsible for duplicates from previous dailies. The editor is somewhat senile.

This daily is sent only to special people who want to start their day on an upbeat. If you have system overload because of our daily clutter, let me know and I will send you the information via mental telepathy. If you have not been getting our daily you can request to be added by e-mailing me at raykiwsp@gmail.com. Back issues are posted at https://raykiwsp.wordpress.com/ currently there are more than 2000 readers from around the world.

Make the commitment

Commit to be fit.

EXERCISE

Yesterday I restarted visiting the YMCA early in the morning for exercise and discovered that lying around for more than a week took its toll. I struggled on one of my cardio machines set with only a modest load and ran out of gas after only a brief amount of time. While the docs want me to hold off on my strength training for a couple of weeks there is no reason not to restart my cardio routines. I was shocked at how much stamina I have lost so it is imperative that I work my way back. While I will limit my outside activities for a few more weeks I am confident that modest exercise will be OK.

What about you, are you getting enough exercise. As we age it is probably the most important thing we can do for our physical and mental health. Here are some things to help you get started from an article written by Melissa Tucker, a training coach and one of Canada’s foremost global fitness competitors.

Five FAQs on Health & Fitness

When is the best time to work out?

There’s no right time to exercise. It depends on the individual. You need to listen to your body. Some people feel rough in the morning, whereas others can hop out of bed and do a 10 mile run. I will say if you are new to fitness, you are 80% more likely to build a lasting habit if you workout at the beginning of your day rather than after work when you’re bagged from your day.

Can I have a snack before exercising?

You can have a small snack before your workout, such as a piece of fruit or a pre workout Branch-Chain Amino Acid (BCAA) drink.  Stay clear of snacks that are high in sugar, including soft drinks. You might get a quick energy boost but it’ll probably be followed by a sudden energy slump.

Should I warm up before exercise?

Warming up is essential before exercising. Without a warm-up, your workout won’t be as efficient as it could be and you increase your risk of injury.

What’s the importance of strength training?

Strength training burns calories, builds and strengthens muscle.  The benefits of strength training include increasing bone density, strengthening joints, and improving balance, stability and posture. Strength-training activities, such as weight lifting, involve short bursts of effort that support functional fitness during everyday tasks and increase your resting metabolic rate. The more muscle mass you have the more calories your burn at rest and during exercise which mean you can consume more healthy calories without weight gain.

Should I have a rest day?

I encouraged you to do a minimum of 20-30 min of moderate-intensity aerobic activity every day. Whether it’s gardening, walking to work or going for a bike ride. Our bodies are built to move and we need to give them movement on a daily biases.

It’s important to rest when you do vigorous-intensity aerobic activity, such as running or weightlifting. The body repairs and strengthens itself between workouts, and over-training can weaken even the strongest athletes. The key here is to listen to your body and schedule 1-2 days of full rest and support recovery with proper sleep, water and nutrition.

~~~

There are really only two requirements when it comes to exercise.  One is that you do it.  The other is that you continue to do it.

~~~

A missionary heard about a native who had five wives. “You are violating a law of God,” he said, “so you must go and tell four of those women you can no longer live here or consider you their husband.”

The native thought a few moments, then said, “Me wait here.  You tell ’em.”

~~~

The person who agrees with everything you say either isn’t paying attention or plans to sell you something.

~~~

A man entered a stationery store and asked the clerk for a birthday/anniversary card. The clerk replied, “We have birthday cards and we have anniversary cards. Why not take one of each?”

The man said, “You don’t understand. I need a card that covers *both* events! You see, we’re celebrating the fifth anniversary of my wife’s thirty-fourth birthday…”

~~~

To find a fault is easy; to do better may be difficult.

Plutarch

~~~

Morty and Sarah had just returned home from a party. Sarah said, “Do you realize what you did tonight, Morty?”

“No I don’t,” Morty replied, “But I’ll admit I was wrong. What did I do?”

~~~

The worst thing about censorship is *******

~~~

“What’s the usual tip?” a man growled when a college boy delivered his pizza.

“Well,” the student replied, “this is my first delivery, but the other guys said that if I got a quarter out of you, I’d be doing great.”

“That so?” grunted the man. “In that case, here’s five dollars.”

“Thanks,” the student said, “I’ll put it in my college fund.”

“By the way, what are you studying?”

“Applied psychology.”

~~~

Opportunity may knock once, but temptation bangs on your front door forever.

~~~

“Starbucks announced this week that from now on new Starbucks employees will be required to go through 32 hours of training. The first hour Starbucks employees learn how to make a cup of coffee, then the next 31 hours they learn how to charge $4 with a straight face.”

Conan O’Brien

~~~

I’m a great believer in luck and I find the harder I work, the more I have of it.

Thomas Jefferson

~~~

In a department store, a difficult customer and a patient clerk were having a hard time getting together. Nothing the clerk provided was suitable. Finally, the finicky shopper said in annoyance, “Can’t you find a smarter clerk to serve me?”

“No,” said the saleswoman. “The smarter clerk saw you coming and disappeared.”

~~~

We do not stop exercising because we grow old – we grow old because we stop exercising.

Dr. Kenneth Cooper

~~~

Stay well, do good work, and have fun.

Ray Mitchell

Indianapolis, Indiana

Management is not responsible for duplicates from previous dailies. The editor is somewhat senile.

This daily is sent only to special people who want to start their day on an upbeat. If you have system overload because of our daily clutter, let me know and I will send you the information via mental telepathy. If you have not been getting our daily you can request to be added by e-mailing me at raykiwsp@gmail.com. Back issues are posted at https://raykiwsp.wordpress.com/ currently there are more than 2000 readers from around the world.

You will regret waiting

In the end, what we regret most are the chances we never took.

Frasier Krane

don't wait

Those of you who have known me for some time know that I feel that the last 25 years of my life have been very rewarding. I was lucky to have a friend convince me in 1990 that I did not have to stay in the rat race to enjoy my life. Boy was he right; while I made less money my work had more meaning. My wife and I have been able to travel both in the US and abroad. I even have met and made friends with some of the most interesting people from all walks of life.

Too many of us wait too long to start living. Some of us get too old and infirm to do what we might have done earlier in life and sadly others don’t live long enough to even try.

Recently I ran across a list published on the World Observer web site that I wish everyone would consider as motivation to start living the great life as early as they can, They’ll be glad they did, I know I was. Here are highlights from the list

Things You’ll Regret When You’re Old

  • Not traveling when you had the chance. Traveling becomes infinitely harder the older you get, especially if you have a family and need to pay the way for three-plus people instead of just yourself.
  • Staying in a bad relationship. No one who ever gets out of a bad relationship looks back without wishing they made the move sooner.
  • Being scared to do things. Looking back you’ll think, what was I so afraid of?
  • Failing to make physical fitness a priority. Too many of us spend the physical peak of our lives on the couch. When you hit 40, 50, 60, and beyond, you’ll dream of what you could have done.
  • Not quitting a terrible job. Look, you gotta pay the bills. But if you don’t make a plan to improve your situation, you might wake up one day having spent 40 years in hell.
  • Not realizing how beautiful you were. Too many of us spend our youth unhappy with the way we look, but the reality is, that’s when we’re our most beautiful.
  • Spending your youth self-absorbed. You’ll be embarrassed about it, frankly.
  • Caring too much about what other people think. In 20 years you won’t give a darn about any of those people you once worried so much about.
  • Supporting others’ dreams over your own. Supporting others is a beautiful thing, but not when it means you never get to shine.
  • Not volunteering enough. OK, so you probably won’t regret not volunteering Hunger Games style, but nearing the end of one’s life without having helped to make the world a better place is a great source of sadness for many.
  • Working too much. No one looks back from their deathbed and wishes they spent more time at the office, but they do wish they spent more time with family, friends, and hobbies.
  • Not stopping enough to appreciate the moment. Young people are constantly on the go, but stopping to take it all in now and again is a good thing.
  • Not taking the time to develop contacts and network. Networking may seem like a bunch of crap when you’re young, but later on it becomes clear that it’s how so many jobs are won.
  • Worrying too much. As Tom Petty sang, “Most things I worry about never happen anyway.”
  • Not being grateful sooner. It can be hard to see in the beginning, but eventually it becomes clear that every moment on this earth — from the mundane to the amazing — is a gift that we’re all so incredibly lucky to share.

~~~

“‘Someday’ is a disease that will take your dreams to the grave with you.”

Timothy Ferriss

~~~

He said: I know I need some kind of athletic activity in my life, so I subscribed to a couple of health magazines. There’s nothing better than kicking back with a cigarette, a Budweiser, and Prevention magazine…and reading about what nicotine, alcohol, and obesity will do to me. The anxiety alone raises my heart rate.

~~~

Peace and friendship with all mankind is our wisest policy, and I wish we may be permitted to pursue it.

Thomas Jefferson

~~~

Max Greenberg was at his favorite eatery, the Second Avenue Deli, when he called over the waiter. “Yes?” asked the busy waiter.

“Are you sure you’re the waiter I ordered from?” asked Max.

“Why do you ask?” replied the waiter.

“Because I was expecting a much older man by now.”

~~~

Getting to know someone is not a task—it’s an art.

Pierce LeBlanc

~~~

My wife doesn’t complain often, but once she was having a old fashioned “heart-to-heart” with me and said, “Hon, you never listen to me.  Every time I try to talk to you, you get this far-away look in your eyes after only a few seconds.  Please promise me you’ll try to work on that.”

The last thing I remember was replying, “I’m sorry, what was that you were saying?”

~~~

The only cure for insomnia is to get more sleep.

~~~

Jill:  SO how about you and that older man you met?

Mary:  Well, he IS a bit older than I, 75, in fact.

Jill:  Wow!  That’s a lot!

Mary:  Well, he has other redeeming qualities!  $58 million, actually!

~~~

Time passed, which, basically, is its job.

~~~

An atheist was spending a quiet day fishing when suddenly his boat was attacked by the Loch Ness monster. In one easy flip, the beast tossed him and his boat high into the air. Then it opened its mouth to swallow both. As the man sailed head over heels, he cried out, “Oh, my God! Help me!”

At once, the ferocious attack scene froze in place, and as the atheist hung in mid-air, a booming voice came down from the clouds, “I thought you didn’t believe in Me!”

“Come on God, give me a break!!” the man pleaded. “Two minutes ago I didn’t believe in the Loch Ness monster either!”

~~~

God made man before woman to give him time to think of an answer for her first question.

~~~

My Uncle Joe got fired from his construction job. I asked him what happened.

“You know what a foreman is?” he asked. “The one who stands around and watches the other men work?”

“What’s that got to do with it?” I asked. “Well, he just got jealous of me,” Uncle Joe explained. “Everyone thought I was the foreman.”

~~~

‎Everything you could have been, all the accolades you could have won and all the achievements that have been nagging about, didn’t happen for one reason only. You procrastinated.

Unknown

~~~

Stay well, do good work, and have fun.

Ray Mitchell

Indianapolis, Indiana

Management is not responsible for duplicates from previous dailies. The editor is somewhat senile.

This daily is sent only to special people who want to start their day on an upbeat. If you have system overload because of our daily clutter, let me know and I will send you the information via mental telepathy. If you have not been getting our daily you can request to be added by e-mailing me at raykiwsp@gmail.com. Back issues are posted at https://raykiwsp.wordpress.com/ currently there are more than 2000 readers from around the world.

Ray’s Back

“Happiness is not something ready-made. It comes from your own actions.”

Dalai Lama XIV

new-day_quote1

I am back after a memorable week. My eye surgery went well and I only have experienced minor discomfort. The healing process will take about a month while I continue a regimen of multiple eye drops each day. I am looking forward to establishing my new normal vision and getting glasses that will again provide me youthful vision.

Unfortunately the news was not all good while I was out of commission. The restaurant where my Kiwanis Club has met for many years closed this past weekend providing little notice that it was going to do so. Now we have to find a new location for our early Thursday morning meetings. Our club is 40 plus years old and I was a charter member. It is very active and provides a great service to our community while providing our members with knowledge on the issues of the day and good fellowship.

That was not the worse news. Each year for decades our club runs a food service at a major national horse show. We raise thousands of dollars that are used to by winter clothes for kids who have little allowing them to stay warm during our Indiana winters. As you may know Central Indiana has had record rain fall over the past month resulting in regular flooding and saturated grounds. It is so bad that the Traders Point Horse show had to cancel because the competition areas we all so saturated as to make it impossible to hold the event. Now our club will do its best to find additional sources of funds so we can again provide young people what they need to survive the winter cold.

At least I am doing well and look forward to getting back into action one of these days.

~~~

“It isn’t what you have or who you are or where you are or what you are doing that makes you happy or unhappy. It is what you think about it.”

Dale Carnegie

~~~

A woman goes to the police station to report that her husband was missing.

“Can you give me a description of him?” asked the officer.

“He’s short and bald and skinny and wrinkled and wears dentures,” answered the woman.  “Come to think of it, most of him was missing before he was.”

~~~

A kiss is a lovely trick designed by nature to stop speech when words become superfluous.

Ingrid Bergman

~~~

Two very reform Jews from the big city were traveling in Florida where on Shabbos they found an orthodox shul in a small town where they could attend services.

The shul Rebbe, seeing strangers at the entrance, greeted the two strangers and asked where they would like to sit.

Looking somewhat confused, one out-of-towner smiled and said, “Non-smoking please.”

~~~

The future is not what it used to be.

~~~

She said: As a Dominican sister, I lived in a convent named for a deceased pope. One day while I was wearing contemporary clothes instead of my habit, I drove into a gas station to get the communal car filled up.

After the young attendant topped off the tank, he walked toward my car window to return my credit card.  It was clear from his furrowed brow that he had something on his mind.  The young man looked at me shyly and pointed to the convent’s name, John XXIII Hall, imprinted on the card.

“Pardon me,” he asked hesitantly, “but how do you pronounce your husband’s middle name?”

~~~

“To find out a girl’s faults, praise her to her girlfriends.”

Benjamin Franklin

~~~

A young minister, sitting down to dinner was about to say grace when he opened the casserole dish that his thrifty bride had prepared from countless refrigerator leftovers.

“I don’t know,” he said dubiously. “It seems to me that we’ve blessed all this stuff before.”

~~~

The young know the rules, the old know the exceptions.

~~~

“I was relaxing in my favorite chair on Sunday,” said Doug to Bill, “reading the newspaper, watching a ball game on TV and listening to another on the radio, drinking a beer, eating a snack, and scratching the dog with my foot — and my wife has the nerve to accuse me of just sitting there doing nothing !”

~~~

“Put even the plainest woman into a beautiful dress and unconsciously she will try to live up to it.”

Lady Duff-Gordon

~~~

You admit having broken into the dress shop four times?” asked the judge.

“Yes,” answered the suspect.

“And what did you steal?”

“A dress, Your Honor,” replied the subject.

“One dress?” echoed the judge. “But you admit breaking in four times!”

“Yes, Your Honor,” sighed the suspect. “But three times my wife didn’t like the color.”

~~~

“Most of the things worth doing in the world had been declared impossible before they were done.”

Louis D. Brandeis

~~~

One day shortly after the birth of their new baby, the mother had to go out to do some errands. So the proud papa stayed home to watch his wonderful new son.

Soon after the mother left, the baby started to cry. The father did everything he could think of to do but the baby wouldn’t stop crying.

Finally, the dad got so worried he decided to take the infant to the doctor.

After the doctor listened to the father all that he had done to get the baby to stop crying, the doctor began to examine the baby’s ears, chest and then down to the diaper area.

When he undid the diaper, he found that the diaper was indeed full.

“Here’s the problem”, the Dr. said, “He needs a change.”

The father was very perplexed, “But the diaper package says it is good for up to 10 lbs.!”

~~~

“It’s been my experience that you can nearly always enjoy things if you make up your mind firmly that you will.”

L.M. Montgomery

~~~

Stay well, do good work, and have fun.

Ray Mitchell

Indianapolis, Indiana

Management is not responsible for duplicates from previous dailies. The editor is somewhat senile.

This daily is sent only to special people who want to start their day on an upbeat. If you have system overload because of our daily clutter, let me know and I will send you the information via mental telepathy. If you have not been getting our daily you can request to be added by e-mailing me at raykiwsp@gmail.com. Back issues are posted at https://raykiwsp.wordpress.com/ currently there are more than 2000 readers from around the world.

Don’t worry about the world coming to an end today. It’s already tomorrow in Australia.”

Charles Schulz

Peanuts

Early tomorrow morning I will be having the vision in my left eye restored to semi-normal via eye surgery. While I don’t expect any recovery problems I am going to suspend the Daily publication until next Monday. So enjoy your days as I restore, recover, rest and recreate and I’ll be back in a few days.

I do look forward to being able to see better in a few days so I don’t miss the good things happening around me. Too often we ignore the little bright spots in our lives as we are distracted by the major events of the day and that is a shame for happiness really can be found along our daily path and not on the elusive kingdom at the end os the yellow brick road.

Here is what Charles Shultz inspired that can help us think about our lives details.

The Charles Schulz Philosophy

The following inspirational quiz is often called the Charles Schulz Philosophy or sometimes Charlie Brown’s Philosophy.  It’s not actually written by him, although the quote at the bottom is from a peanuts cartoon. Enjoy the following quiz.

  1. Name the five wealthiest people in the world.
  2. Name the last five Heisman trophy winners.
  3. Name the last five winners of the Miss America.
  4. Name ten people who have won the Nobel or Pulitzer Prize.
  5. Name the last half dozen Academy Award winners for best actor and actress.
  6. Name the last decade’s worth of World Series winners.

How did you do? The point is, none of us remember the headliners of yesterday. These are no second-rate achievers. They are the best in their fields. But the applause dies. Awards tarnish. Achievements are forgotten. Accolades and certificates are buried with their owners.

Here’s another quiz. See how you do on this one:

  1. List a few teachers who aided your journey through school.
  2. Name three friends who have helped you through a difficult time.
  3. Name five people who have taught you something worthwhile.
  4. Think of a few people who have made you feel appreciated and special.
  5. Think of five people you enjoy spending time with.

Easier? The lesson: The people who make a difference in your life are not the ones with the most credentials, the most money, or the most awards. They are the ones that care.

~~~

Instead of giving myself reasons why I can’t, I give myself reasons why I can.

Author unknown

~~~

THINGS DOGS MUST REMEMBER

* I will not play tug-of-war with Dad’s underwear when he’s on the toilet.  

* The garbage collector is NOT stealing our stuff.

* I must shake the rainwater out of my fur BEFORE entering the house.  

* I will not wake Mom up by sticking my cold, wet nose in her face.  

* I will not chew crayons or pens, especially not the red ones, or my people will think I am hemorrhaging.  

* When in the car, I will not insist on having the window rolled down when it’s raining outside.  

* We do not have a doorbell. I will not bark each time I hear one on TV.  

* I will not steal my Mom’s underwear and dance all over the backyard with it.  

* The sofa is not a face towel. Neither are Mom & Dad’s laps.  

* My head does not belong in the refrigerator, dishwasher or trashcan.  

* I will not take off while on leash to chase squirrels while Mom is standing on a slippery grass slope.  

~~~

May you live all the days of your life.

Jonathan Swift

~~~

Dear Sir,

Since taking your body-building course, I now have a 44 inch chest, a 32 inch waist, 17 inch biceps and an 18 inch neck. I feel absolutely marvelous but at the same time, I do feel that my chances of marriage are spoiled.

Yours faithfully,

Rachel Goldberg

~~~

“My doctor said I was paranoid… well, he didn’t actually say it, but I could tell he was thinking it.”

~~~

After a long illness, An Irishman named Murphy went to his doctor. The doctor, after a lengthy examination, sighed and looked Murphy in the eye and said.. “I’ve some bad news for you. You have cancer and it can’t be cured. I’d give you two weeks to a month.”

Murphy was shocked and saddened by the news, but being of solid character he managed to compose himself and walk from the doctor’s office into the waiting room where his son had been waiting for him.

Murphy said, “Son, we Irish celebrate when things are good and we celebrate when things don’t go so well. In this case, things aren’t so well. I’ve got cancer and have been given a short time to live, so let’s head for the pub and have a few pints.” After three or four pints the two were feeling a little less somber. There were some laughs and more beers. They were eventually approached by some of Murphy’s old friends who asked what the two were celebrating.

Murphy said, “The Irish celebrate the good and the bad, so we’re drinking to my impending end. I’ve only a few weeks to live as I have been diagnosed with AIDS.”

Murphy’s friends gave him their condolences and they had a couple more beers. After the friends left, Murphy’s son leaned over and whispered his confusion…..”Dad, I thought you said that you were dying from cancer. You just told your friends you were dying from AIDS?”

Murphy said, “I am dying from cancer son, I just don’t want any of them sleeping with your mother after I’m gone.”

~~~

“Whenever you want to marry someone, go have lunch with his ex-wife.”

Francis Bourdillon

~~~

A doctor and a lawyer were talking at a party. Their conversation was constantly interrupted by people describing their ailments and asking the doctor for free medical advice. After an hour of this, the exasperated doctor asked the lawyer, “What do you do to stop people from asking you for legal advice when you’re out of the office?”

“I give it to them,” replied the lawyer, “and then I send them a bill.”

The doctor was shocked, but agreed to give it a try. The next day, still feeling slightly guilty, the doctor prepared the bills.

When he went to place them in his mailbox, he found a bill from the lawyer.

~~~

Some people walk in the rain. Others just get wet.

Roger Miller

~~~

Stay well, do good work, and have fun.

Ray Mitchell

Indianapolis, Indiana

Management is not responsible for duplicates from previous dailies. The editor is somewhat senile.

This daily is sent only to special people who want to start their day on an upbeat. If you have system overload because of our daily clutter, let me know and I will send you the information via mental telepathy. If you have not been getting our daily you can request to be added by e-mailing me at raykiwsp@gmail.com. Back issues are posted at https://raykiwsp.wordpress.com/ currently there are more than 2000 readers from around the world.

Let the sun shine in

“All seasons are beautiful for the person who carries happiness within.”

Horace Friess

choose-happiness-4

Today I will be starting a couple of days of pre-op eye drops in preparation for Thursday’s eye surgery. The operation is no big deal and the recovery should only be an inconvenience so it will not affect some other medical stuff later in the month. Since I don’t know if the drops are going to interfere with my driving I have decided to drop out for a few days and just relax. If I am good I will substitute time on my home treadmill instead of my daily YMCA activity.

I have been thinking about how so many people seem to elude personal happiness. I think to a large extent happiness is a matter of choice, we get to decide what is important in our lives and then appreciate the gifts we already have. As you know I am a big fan of the writings of Marc Chernoff and today I would like to share some of his thoughts on how we can enhance our ability to be happy.

Excerpts from an article entitled “Gifts You Deserve to Give Yourself

An open mind in full acceptance of life’s changes.

Sometimes there are things in our lives that aren’t meant to stay.  Sometimes the changes we don’t want are the changes we need to grow.  Growth and change may be painful sometimes, but nothing in life is as painful as staying stuck where you don’t belong.  The bottom line is that you can’t reach for anything new if you’re holding onto yesterday.  You may think holding on makes you strong, but often it is letting go and starting anew in the present.

A meaningful path and purpose.

If your life is going to mean anything, you have to live it yourself.  You have to choose the path that feels right to YOU, not the one that looks right to everyone else.  It’s always better to be at the bottom of the ladder you want to climb, than the top of the one you don’t.  So don’t wait until you’re halfway up the wrong ladder to listen to your intuition.  Every morning, ask yourself what is really important, and then find the courage, wisdom and willpower to build your day around your answer.

The time to do what truly matters.

Identify what’s most important to you.  Prune nonessential commitments.  Eliminate as much as you possibly can of everything else.  No wasted time, no fluff, no regrets.

The space to BE, without needless worry.

If you think and you think and you think, you will think yourself right out of happiness a thousand times over, and never once into it.  Worrying doesn’t take away tomorrow’s troubles, it takes away today’s peace and potential.  Stop over-thinking everything.  Life is too short.

Permission to be imperfect as you grow.

You may not be where you want to be yet, but if you think about it, you’re no longer where you once were either.  You have good reason to believe that you can trust yourself going forward.  Not because you’ve always made the right choices, but because you survived the bad ones, and taken small steps in the right direction.

The freedom to express your whole truth.

The greatest and most gratifying experiences in life cannot be seen or touched.  They must be felt with the heart from the inside out.  There’s nothing more inspiring than the complexity and beauty of human, heartfelt feelings.  Sadly though, many people let the fear of judgment numb and silence them.  Their deepest thoughts and feelings often go unspoken, and thus barely understood.

~~~

“The foolish man seeks happiness in the distance, the wise grows it under his feet.”

James Oppenheim

~~~

A plane hit a patch of severe turbulence and the passengers were holding on tight as it rocked and reeled through the night. A little old lady turned to a minister who was sitting behind her and said, “You’re a man of God. Can’t you do something about this?”

He replied, “Sorry, I can’t. I’m in sales, not management.”

~~~

The human race is divided into two classes–those who go ahead and do something, and those who sit still and inquire, “Why wasn’t it done the other way?”

Oliver Wendell Holmes, Jr.

~~~

A man was celebrating his 80th birthday and his 50th wedding anniversary.

A reported asked, “Sir, how do you account for looking so fit?”

“Well,” the old-timer told him, “when we got married, my wife and I made an agreement that any time we saw an argument coming on, I would grab my hat and walk three times around the block. You’d be surprised what 50 years of outdoor exercise will do for your health!”

~~~

Meditation is not what you Think.

~~~

Bill has the typical observant wife. One evening after dinner, she handed him a bottle of ‘Rogaine’ hair restorer. Bill told her while he was indeed starting to thin out some, he didn’t really think he needed hair restorer yet.

She said, “Oh. It’s not for you, it’s for your secretary, she seems to be losing quite a bit of her hair on your jacket.”

~~~

One way to stop a runaway horse is to bet on him.

~~~

During a recent publicity outing, Jennifer sneaked off to visit a fortune teller of some local repute. In a dark and hazy room, peering into a crystal ball, the mystic delivered grave news. “There’s no easy way to say this, so I’ll just be blunt: Prepare yourself to be a widow. Your husband will die a violent and horrible death this year.”

Visibly shaken, Jennifer stared at the woman’s lined face, then at the single flickering candle, then down at her hands. She took a few deep breaths to compose herself. She simply had to know. She met the fortune teller’s gaze, steadied her voice, and asked her question: “Will I be acquitted?”

~~~

“Give me golf clubs, fresh air and a beautiful partner, and you can keep the clubs and the fresh air.”

Jack Benny

~~~

I was out walking with my then 4 year old daughter.  She picked up something off the ground and started to put it in her mouth.  I asked her not to do that.

“Why?” she asked.

I replied, “Because it’s been lying outside and is dirty and probably has germs.” At this point, she looked at me with total admiration and said, “Wow !  How do you know all this stuff ?  ”

“Uh,” I was thinking quickly, “Everyone knows this stuff, it’s on the Mommy test.  You have to know it, or they don’t let you be a Mommy.”

“Oh.” she replied.  We walked along in silence for 2 or 3 minutes, but she was evidently pondering this new information.

“I get it! ” she beamed.  “Then if you flunk, you get to be the Daddy!”

~~~

“How we feel about ourselves, the joy we get from living, ultimately depends directly on how the mind filters and interprets everyday experiences. Whether we are happy depends on inner harmony, not on the controls we are able to exert over the great forces of the universe.”

Mihaly Csikszentmihaly

~~~

Stay well, do good work, and have fun.

Ray Mitchell

Indianapolis, Indiana

Management is not responsible for duplicates from previous dailies. The editor is somewhat senile.

This daily is sent only to special people who want to start their day on an upbeat. If you have system overload because of our daily clutter, let me know and I will send you the information via mental telepathy. If you have not been getting our daily you can request to be added by e-mailing me at raykiwsp@gmail.com. Back issues are posted at https://raykiwsp.wordpress.com/ currently there are more than 2000 readers from around the world.

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