Ray's musings and humor

Look up and not down; look forward and not back; look out and not in; and lend a hand.

E. Hale

! 0000000 sadness_by_gajotnt

Here we are at last. May has arrived bringing its flowers and warmth to my part of the world. The spring weather is an elixir that helps to cure the blahs that sometimes linger after a hard winter. I have learned that it is more than the seasons that can take us down. At my time of life I spend much of my time dealing with the passing of friends and acquaintances.

Don’t get me wrong, I am grateful for my long life and especially grateful for the many friends I have made over the years. I did not always realize that the people who offered me their friendship were giving me the best gifts I would ever receive. I really miss the ones no longer with us and appreciate even more those who are still here,

There are many setbacks in life as we age, illness, loneliness the loss of friends and loved ones all take their toll, yet life goes on. How it goes on depends on how well we move on from the challenges we face. Here is an article that can help us learn how to deal with loss and then move on.

How to Handle the Difficult Times

BY LEO BABAUTA

Sometimes, life just wallops us against the head, deals us with such a blow that it takes our breath away. A loved one dies, you lose a job, someone you care about gets sick, your car gets totaled, or hopelessness hits you.

What do we do when the world around us crumbles, when we can’t seem to find a way out?

The times when things are falling apart are exactly the best times to practice mindfulness and compassion. These are the times we’re preparing for, in a way, when we meditate regularly with mindfulness and compassion, during the non-traumatic times.

The times when the world is collapsing are the richest areas of exploration, and when we need the tools most.

So the way to work with these times is this:

Stay with the pain. Don’t run from it, don’t try to do anything about it, but face it with courage.

Stay with the bodily feeling, dropping below your story, and smile at it, be friendly with it, have the braveness to just be with it like you would with a friend who’s hurting.

Do it in small doses if that’s all you can handle. Do it with patience, noticing that your mind wants to run. Keep coming back, and you’ll earn trust in yourself to stay with the hard feelings.

Eventually, you see that the feelings aren’t so bad, that you can stay with them and the world won’t end, that they’ll go away like a passing cloud, that these feelings and thoughts aren’t you but just passing phenomena. You’ll start to take them less seriously, see that they’re No Big Deal, hold them lightly, give them space in your mind.

~~~

We don’t develop courage by being happy every day. We develop it by surviving difficult times and challenging adversity.

Barbara de Angelis

~~~

Think About This!

* Laughter is like changing a baby’s diaper: It doesn’t permanently solve any problems, but it makes thing more acceptable for awhile.

* Live as you wish your kids would.

* Living on Earth is expensive, but it does include a free trip around the sun every year.

* Love is like a rose. You have to see past the thorns to appreciate its beauty.

* Middle age is when broadness of the mind and narrowness of the waist change places.

* Some mistakes are too much fun to only make once.

* Support bacteria–they’re the only culture some people have.

* The pessimist may be right in the long run, but the optimist has a better time during the trip.

~~~

To err is human—to blame it on a computer is even more so.

~~~

While attending his high school class reunion, a fellow approached a woman he thought he recognized. “You look like Helen Brown” he said.

Without hesitation she shot back. “Oh yeah? Well let me tell you that you don’t look so damned good in blue either.”

~~~

We must always change, renew, rejuvenate ourselves; otherwise we harden.

Johann Wolfgang von Goethe

~~~

Jill:  Mary, what exactly is an “oxymoron”?

Mary:  It’s a phrase made up of contradictory terms, like “deafening silence.”

Jill:  Oh, I get it.  Like “Mr. Perfect”!

~~~

“We spend the first six years teaching our children to walk and talk, and the next 15 telling them to shut up and sit down.”

~~~

A man was being proselytized by group of friends:

“Come join our study group. We want to discuss mankind’s relationship to God.”

“I’m married; I learned long ago that my opinions don’t matter.”

“But, when you die, will you go to heaven or to hell?”

“Wherever my wife tells me to.”

~~~

One of the secrets of a long and fruitful life is to forgive everybody, everything, every night before you go to bed.

Bernard M. Baruch

~~~

This woman is rushed to the hospital in critical condition. Her husband waits patiently in the waiting room.

After a few minutes, the doctor comes out and asks her assistant for a wrench, which understandably concerns the husband.

Then, after a couple more moments, the doctor re-enters the room this time asking for a screwdriver.

The man grows worried and begins to pace in circles. Then, a little later, the doctor bursts through the doors screaming for a hammer.

At that, the husband, in a state of frenzied terror, runs up to the surgeon and asks, ”Doctor, what the heck is wrong with my wife?”

“I don’t know,” replies the flustered doctor, “I can’t get my darn bag open.”

~~~

Look not mournfully into the past, it comes not back again. Wisely improve the present, it is thine. Go forth to meet the shadowy future without fear and with a manly heart.

Henry Wadsworth Longfellow

~~~

Stay well, do good work, and have fun.

Ray Mitchell

Indianapolis, Indiana

Management is not responsible for duplicates from previous dailies. The editor is somewhat senile.

Ray’s Daily has been sent for more than fifteen years to people who want to start their day on an upbeat. If you have system overload because of our daily clutter, let me know and I will send you the information via mental telepathy. If you have not been getting our daily you can request to be added by e-mailing me at raykiwsp@gmail.com. Back issues are posted at https://raykiwsp.wordpress.com/ currently there are more than 2000 readers from around the world.

 

Just do what you can

Problems are not the problem; coping is the problem.

Virginia Satir

! 0000000 Overload

Do you ever feel like you are overloaded? I often have and find I no longer can the handle the loads I once did. I am doing better in matching my commitments with my likes and capabilities having learned not to get too stressed by what I am not doing or won’t do.

That’s not to say that there are mot some no choice mandatory things in my life and sometimes when combined other activities they start to tip the scale into the overload range. I have made peace with the fact I sometimes can’t do it all so I just do what I can.

Here is an edited article written by Henrik Edberg of the Positivity Blog that includes tips that have helped my cope, they might be of value to you as well.

 How I Turn an Overwhelming and Stressed Day Around

The days when you feel the pressure and stress rising inside of you. When you become unfocused and dark thoughts start to brew and fill your mind. But such days don’t have to continue that way. You can often turn them around or at least make them a lot less uncomfortable and more focused again.

Here’s what I do when I feel trapped in one of those days.

Breathe.

First, just breathe and calm your mind and body down a bit so that you can think a

little more clearly. I do this by first sitting down. Then I breathe with my stomach for a minute or two.

During this time I keep 100% of my focus on the air going in and out of my nostrils.

Zoom out.

I have often found that zooming out a bit alleviates stress and inner pressure. When you feel trapped and like the world is pressing down on you then it is easy to get a very unhelpful perspective on things. So I ask myself: Will this matter in 5 years? Or even 5 months? This allows me to see things from a broader perspective.

Unclutter your focus.

When you feel overwhelmed and stressed out it’s easy to get stuck in thinking you have to do 5 things at once to get a handle on things and to get back on track. So I ask myself: Honestly, which ones of these things can wait until tomorrow or next week with no or small consequences?

Go for just taking care of the rest of today one small step at a time.

After I have alleviated pressure, overwhelm and stress by using the three steps above I narrow my focus.

I do not look forward because then I’ll see all the things I have to do to reach my goal or get all the way to done with a project. Instead, I go smaller and focus on just taking care of the rest of today. Nothing more. Tomorrow will come in time and then I will take care of it too. But for now I only focus on what is most important today.

~~~

Thinking too long about doing something is often the reason it never gets done.

Marc Chernoff

~~~

A teenager is:

* A person who can’t remember to walk the dog but never forgets a phone number.

* A weight watcher who goes on a diet by giving up candy bars before breakfast.

* Someone who can hear his favorite singer 3 blocks away but not his mother calling from the next room.

* A whiz who can operate the latest computer without a lesson but can’t make a bed.

* A student who spends 12 minutes studying history and 12 hours studying for her driver’s license.

* A connoisseur of 2 kinds of fine music–loud and very loud.

* A young woman who loves the cat and tolerates the brother.

* A romantic who never falls in love more than once a week.

* A budding beauty who never smiles until her braces come off.

* A boy who can sleep till noon on any Saturday he suspects the lawn needs mowing.

* An original thinker who is positive that her mother was never a teenager.

~~~

Love is the ability and willingness to allow those that you care for to be what they choose for themselves without any insistence that they satisfy you.

Wayne Dyer

~~~

There was this West Va. sheriff and his deputy riding along the small town.  They spot a car with out of town plates and decided to pull it over. The sheriff says “Where you from boy?”

The man says Chicago. Sheriff says, “Don’t lie to me son I saw them Illinois tags.”

~~~

The greatest use of life is to spend it for something that will outlast it.

William James

~~~

  • Have you ever realized that children are like dogs—loyal and affectionate, but teenagers are like cats?
  • It’s so easy to be a dog owner. You feed it, train it, boss it around. And yet it still puts its head on your knee and gazes at you as if you were a Rembrandt painting and bounds indoors with enthusiasm when you call it.
  • Then around age 13, your adoring little puppy turns into a cat. When you tell it to come inside, it looks amazed, as if wondering who died and made you emperor. Instead of dogging your doorsteps, it disappears. You won’t see it again until it gets hungry. Then it pauses on its sprint through the kitchen long enough to turn its nose up at whatever you’re serving. When you reach out to ruffle its head, in that old affectionate gesture, it twists away from you, then gives you a blank stare, as if trying to remember where it has seen you before. You, not realizing that the dog is now a cat, think something must be desperately wrong. It seems so antisocial, so distant. It won’t go on family outings.
  • Instead of continuing to act like a dog owner, you should learn to behave like a cat owner. Put a dish of food near the door, and let it come to you. Sit still, and it will come, seeking that warm, comforting lap it has not entirely forgotten. Be there to open the door for it.

~~~

It’s lonely at the top, but you eat better.

~~~

I was listening to a lady who called a radio minister. The minister was a wise, grandfatherly gentlemen who had that calm reassuring voice that can melt all fear.

The lady, who was obviously crying, says, “I was born blind, and I’ve been blind all my life. I don’t mind so much being blind but I have some well-meaning friends who tell me if I had more faith I could be healed and see again.”

The minister asked her, “Tell me, do you carry one of those white canes?”

“Why, yes, I do,” she replied.

“Well, then… the next time someone says that to you, hit them over the head with your cane,” he said. “Then tell them… ‘If you had more faith, that wouldn’t hurt!’ ”

~~~

Before you start some work, always ask yourself three questions – Why am I doing it, What the results might be and Will I be successful. Only when you think deeply and find satisfactory answers to these questions, go ahead.

Chanakya

~~~

Stay well, do good work, and have fun.

Ray Mitchell

Indianapolis, Indiana

Management is not responsible for duplicates from previous dailies. The editor is somewhat senile.

Ray’s Daily has been sent for more than fifteen years to people who want to start their day on an upbeat. If you have system overload because of our daily clutter, let me know and I will send you the information via mental telepathy. If you have not been getting our daily you can request to be added by e-mailing me at raykiwsp@gmail.com. Back issues are posted at https://raykiwsp.wordpress.com/ currently there are more than 2000 readers from around the world.

 

I want to be like him

Kind people are the best kind of people.

! 0000000 act-of-kindness

I have been a little more sluggish these past few days than normal. My rear end has been dragging so much I am considering the purchase of Teflon coated pants. My team of Doctors are working on adjusting my daily mix of medical potions to assist in my rejuvenation. I hope it won’t take too long as I really need to get back into the swing of things.

One of the things I like to use at times like this is antidotes for the blahs and here is one of my all-time favorites. I want to grow up to be like this boy so that folks will say when all is said and done “He cared.”

The Tip

Two Nickels and Five Pennies In the days when an ice cream sundae cost much less, a 10-year-old boy entered a hotel coffee shop and sat at a table. A waitress put a glass of water in front of him. “How much is an ice cream sundae?”

“Fifty cents,” replied the waitress.

The little boy pulled his hand out of his pocket and studied a number of coins in it. “How much is a dish of plain ice cream?” he inquired.

Some people were now waiting for a table and the waitress was a bit impatient. “Thirty-five cents,” she said brusquely.

The little boy again counted the coins. “I’ll have the plain ice cream,” he said. The waitress brought the ice cream, put the bill on the table and walked away. The boy finished the ice cream, paid the cashier and departed. When the waitress came back, she began wiping down the table and then swallowed hard at what she saw. There, placed neatly beside the empty dish, were two nickels and five pennies – her tip.

~~~

Those who bring sunshine to the lives of others cannot keep it from themselves.

James Matthew Barrie

~~~

At the pub, a little blonde guy exchanged words with a big bald guy, and it looked like they were about to go to blows.   “You’ve got a lot of nerve for such a shrimp!” snarled the big guy.

“Look, you big jerk,” barked the little blonde guy, “I’m not scared of anybody, or anything! I come from a long line of jumpers. My great-grandfather jumped with no parachute from a balloon. My grand-father jumped without a ‘chute from a biplane.

My mother and father both jumped from a jet. And tomorrow, I jump from a rocket!”

“You’re crazy, you little twerp,” said the big guy. “You could be killed!”

“So what?” said the little blonde guy. “I have no family!”

~~~

“What’s going on in the inside shows on the outside.”

Earl Nightingale

~~~

David wasn’t feeling well and so he went to the doctor to get himself checked.

After a thorough examination, the doctor said, “Well David, based on my examination, the best thing for you is to cut out all sweets and fatty foods, give up alcohol, and stop smoking.”

“I see,” said David.  “Well, to be honest with you Doc, I don’t deserve the best.  What’s the second best?”

~~~

Middle age is when you know your way around but don’t feel like going!

~~~

A woman was at work when she received a phone call that her daughter was very sick with a fever. She left her work and stopped by the pharmacy to get some medication for her daughter. When returning to her car she found that she had locked her keys in the car. She was in a hurry to get home to her sick daughter.

She didn’t know what to do, so she called her home and told the babysitter what had happened and that she did not know what to do. The baby sitter told her that her daughter was getting worse.

She said, “You might find a coat hanger and use that to open the door.”

The woman looked around and found an old rusty coat hanger that had been thrown down on the ground, possibly by someone else who at some time or other had locked their keys in their car. Then she looked at the hanger and said, “I don’t know how to use this.” So she bowed her head and asked God to send her some help. Within five minutes an old rusty car pulled up, with a dirty, greasy, bearded man who was wearing an old biker skull rag on his head.

The woman thought, “This is what you sent to help me?” But, she was desperate, so she was also very thankful.

The man got out of his car and asked her if he could help. She said, “Yes, my daughter is very sick. I stopped to get her some medication and I locked my keys in my car. I must get home to her. Please, can you use this hanger to unlock my car?”

He said, “Sure”. He walked over to the car, and in less than one minute the car was opened.

She hugged the man and through her tears she said, “Thank You So Much!  You are a very nice man.”

The man replied, “Lady, I am not a nice man I just got out of prison today. I was in prison for car theft and have only been out for about an hour.”

The woman hugged the man again and with sobbing tears cried out loud, “Oh, Thank you, thank you, God! You even sent me a Professional.”

~~~

I believe in honesty and integrity. Someone asked me what I would do if I found $1 million in the street. If it belonged to a poor person, I’d give it back.

~~~

A young man was sitting next to me in one of the two “husband chairs” in a ladies’ clothing store.

After 30 minutes and five outfits, the fellow’s wife came out of the change room again.

He looked at her and immediately said: “That looks good on you. Get that one.”

“Honey,” she replied, “this is what I was wearing when we came in.”

~~~

If you are too busy to laugh, you are too busy.

~~~

If you live in a low-lying area, you should have an evacuation route planned out. (To determine whether you live in a low-lying area, look at your driver’s license; if it says “Florida”, you live in a low-lying area.)

The purpose of having an evacuation route is to avoid being trapped in your home when a major storm hits. Instead, you will be trapped in a gigantic traffic jam several miles from your home, along with two hundred thousand other evacuees. So, as a bonus, you will not be lonely.

Of course these are just basic precautions. As the hurricane draws near, it is vitally important that you keep abreast of the situation by turning on your television and watching TV reporters in rain slickers stand right next to the ocean and tell you over and over how vitally important it is for everybody to stay away from the ocean.

Good luck, and remember: It’s great living in Paradise

~~~

When you can be the sunshine in someone’s life, or the warm rain, why would you be the cold north wind?

Robert Brault

~~~

Stay well, do good work, and have fun.

Ray Mitchell

Indianapolis, Indiana

Management is not responsible for duplicates from previous dailies. The editor is somewhat senile.

Ray’s Daily has been sent for more than fifteen years to people who want to start their day on an upbeat. If you have system overload because of our daily clutter, let me know and I will send you the information via mental telepathy. If you have not been getting our daily you can request to be added by e-mailing me at raykiwsp@gmail.com. Back issues are posted at https://raykiwsp.wordpress.com/ currently there are more than 2000 readers from around the world.

 

Be Wise

Wisdom is knowing what to do next; Skill is knowing how to do it, and Virtue is doing it.

David Starr Jordan:

! 0000000 be wise

I am in extreme low energy mode today while the doctors work on my rejuvenation I am going to send you a Daily from one of my better days. Ray

Ray’s Daily first published on April 27. 2010

One day last week I shared some thoughts from a friend who had just reached fifty, they were reported to be some of his learned life lessons. I thought I would pull up a few more for me to think about and to share with you, so here goes.

  • Life isn’t fair, but it’s still good. – In my case I think it is fair more times than not, but there are times when it’s not and then we have a choice. Linger with it and getting bogged down or not letting it get to us and moving on. I have found it is just not worth letting unfairness takes its toll.
  • When in doubt, just take the next small step. – I have learned that stopping can be fatal, it becomes too easy to just give up, always putting off moving on. Read a book, see a neighbor, start an easy project, there is always something to be done on your way to the next big step.
  • Life is too short to waste time hating anyone. – I am dismayed by how much hatred I see around me every day. Haters provide me a choice, I can walk away from those who try to install their hate in my mind or I can give them the opportunity to steal my happiness. We can solve problems constructively together or we can fall into the trap of feeling that success requires tearing down those we don’t like. Fortunately life rewards the builders and leaves the destroyers behind amidst the rubble they create.
  • Don’t take yourself so seriously. No one else does. – Like I have often said, this is as good as I get, take me or leave me, it is up to you. I promise to always do my best but I know I often stumble, but that’s fine with me. Anyway I’d rather be a little silly and not always serious.
  • You don’t have to win every argument. Agree to disagree. – A friend told me one time that he thought I had the ability to lose gracefully and that as a result I was always allowed to come back and play another day, I think it was one of the best complements I have ever received. I even like to lose when I am wrong for I will have learned something.
  • Make peace with your past so it won’t screw up the present. – Don’t underestimate the importance of this advice. If you are like I am you know all kinds of folks who carry the burden of their past pain, some lasting from their childhood. I have made many mistakes and have often felt pain in the past, but I cannot change history so I’ll not waste time living it down, I am much happier writing a new history page each day.

~~~

The truest greatness lies in being kind, the truest wisdom in a happy mind.

Ella Wheeler Wilcox

~~~

She said, I a Dominican sister, I lived in a convent named for a deceased pope. One day while I was wearing contemporary clothes instead of my habit, I drove into a gas station to get the communal car filled up. After the young attendant topped off the tank, he walked toward my car window to return my credit card.  It was clear from his furrowed brow that he had something on his mind.

The young man looked at me shyly and pointed to the convent’s name, John XXIII Hall, imprinted on the card. “Pardon me,” he asked hesitantly, “but how do you pronounce your husband’s middle name?”

~~~

“No one can make you feel inferior without your consent.”

Eleanor Roosevelt

~~~

They say that a preacher’s wife is always his number one assistant. An example of this comes one Sunday morning after the preacher had just finished his sermon. He went and sat down with his wife and she asked him how he thought the church service went.

The Preacher shrugged and said, “The worship was excellent, and I think the prayer time went quite well, but,” he continued, “I just don’t think the sermon ever got off the ground.”

The wife looked over at him, and before she could stop herself, she said, “Well, it sure did taxi long enough!”

~~~

One day, in retrospect, the years of struggle will strike you as the most beautiful.

Sigmund Freud

~~~

Morris and Rachel are sweethearts. Morris lives in a small village out in the country and Rachel lives in town. One day, they go to see the Rabbi and set a date for their wedding. Before they leave, the Rabbi asks them whether they want a contemporary or traditional service. After a short discussion, they opt for the contemporary service.

Their day arrives but the weather is rotten and a storm forces Morris to take an alternate route to the synagogue. The village streets are flooded, so he rolls up his trouser legs to keep his trousers dry.

When at last he reaches the shul, his best man immediately rushes him up the aisle. As the ceremony starts, the Rabbi whispers to Morris, “Pull down your trousers.”

“Rabbi, I’ve changed my mind,” says Morris, “I think I prefer the traditional service.”

~~~

Consciousness: that annoying time between naps.

~~~

A gal was shopping at a Target Store and came across a silver thermos.  She was quite fascinated by it, so she picked it up and brought it over to the clerk to ask what it was.

The clerk said, “Why, that’s a thermos…..it keeps things hot and some things cold.”

“Wow, said the blonde, “that’s amazing….I’m going to buy it !” So she bought the thermos and took it to work the next day. Her boss saw it on her desk. “What’s that,’ he asked? “Why, that’s a thermos…..it keeps hot things hot and cold things cold,” she replied.

Her boss inquired, “What do you have in it?”

The blond replied, “Two popsicles, and some coffee.”

~~~

Why is it called ‘after dark’, when it is really after light?

~~~

A man looked at the menu at the airport restaurant, and saw that the sandwiches were named for planes.  “I’ll have a Jumbo Jet,” he said.  When the order arrived, he was disappointed to see how small his burger was, but he ate it anyway.

He called his waiter over and asked, “Was that the Jumbo Jet?”

“Yeah,” the waiter answered.  “Went pretty fast, didn’t it?”

~~~

Success is liking yourself, liking what you do and liking how you do it.

Maya Angelou

~~~

Jill: What happened to you and your last boyfriend?

Mary: Well, you know how men are supposed to be hunters and women are supposed to be gatherers?

Jill: Yeah, I know about that.

Mary: Well, he couldn’t hunt enough money to keep up with my gathering.

~~~

One’s first step in wisdom is to question everything – and one’s last is to come to terms with everything.

Georg C. Lichtenberg

~~~

Stay well, do good work, and have fun.

Ray Mitchell

Indianapolis, Indiana

Management is not responsible for duplicates from previous dailies. The editor is somewhat senile.

Ray’s Daily has been sent for more than fifteen years to people who want to start their day on an upbeat. If you have system overload because of our daily clutter, let me know and I will send you the information via mental telepathy. If you have not been getting our daily you can request to be added by e-mailing me at raykiwsp@gmail.com. Back issues are posted at https://raykiwsp.wordpress.com/ currently there are more than 2000 readers from around the world.

 

The real act of discovery consists not in finding new lands, but in seeing with new eyes.

Marcel Proust

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Why so many people better than the think they are or could be. The following article makes me wonder if the problem isn’t that too many of us have been conditioned to minimize our self-worth. I wish many of my friends and acquaintances would think as well of themselves as I do of them.

Dr. Paul provides plenty of food for thought on how we might break away from the anchors that keep us from brighter days.

Are You Making These 4 Mistakes?

By Margaret Paul, Ph.D.

I, like many of you, was brought up and programmed to believe in a number of ideas that have turned out to be untrue. These false beliefs led me to make various life and relationship mistakes. I didn’t like making mistakes any more than you do, but it is from my mistakes that I’ve learned so much.

In this article, I’m going to discuss the 4 major mistakes that I used to make and that so many of my counseling clients make before working with me.

Self-judgment

I used to judge and shame myself unmercifully, although mostly unconsciously. Until I started to pay attention to my anxiety, stress, and insecurity, I never realized how much I judged and shamed myself.

Now I know that self-judgments create so much inner stress that it makes it harder to do well – not easier. Now I know that people treat me the way I treat myself, so the more I judge myself, the more others judge me. Now I know that my passion and creativity flow when I’m accepting of myself, and that self-acceptance creates an inward motivation to be all I can be.

Giving Myself Up

I was taught that the way to get love and approval was to please others – to give myself up and be what they wanted me to be. Now I know that giving myself up is a form of controlling others, and that while I might get some temporary approval, I never feel loved when I compromise myself. Now I know that when I disrespected myself so much as to give myself up for approval, others also disrespected me. Now I know that when I love myself and approve of myself, I also experience others’ genuine love for me. Now I know that others treat me the way I treat myself. 

Competition vs. Cooperation

I never particularly liked to compete, but I was taught to compete for grades, for attention and for approval. I was taught that my value was in my looks and performance, not in my goodness, kindness, caring and compassion. Now I know that there is far more joy and achievement in cooperation than competition. Now I know that I can define my own worth through my intrinsic qualities of goodness, gentleness, kindness, creativity, caring and compassion, rather than competing to be seen as worthy through others’ eyes.

Controlling vs. Learning About Loving Myself and Others

Because love was conditional in my family of origin, I learned various ways of trying to have control over getting love and avoiding pain. Judging myself, giving myself up, looking right and achieving were all ways to control how my parents and others felt about me. But with all of this, I never felt inwardly safe, secure, lovable or worthy – no matter how much approval I got.

Now I know that self-esteem comes from learning to love myself and others, rather than from getting approval. Now I know that my sense of inner safety and worth comes from how I treat myself and others rather than from how others treat me.

~~~

“Nothing ever happened in the past that can prevent you from being present now, and if the past cant prevent you from being present now, what power does it have?”

Eckhart Tolle

~~~

He said: Recently launched into the “real world” and shocked by the expenses that came with it, my brother Dustin was complaining about the high cost of auto insurance.

“If you got married,” teased my dad, “the premium would be lower.”

Dustin smiled and said, “That would be like buying an airline just to get free peanuts.”

~~~

It’s hard to be nostalgic when you can’t remember anything.

~~~

After putting her grandchildren to bed, a grandmother changed into old slacks and a droopy blouse and proceeded to wash her hair. As she heard the children getting more and more rambunctious, her patience grew thin. At last she threw a towel around her head and stormed into their room, putting them back to bed with stern warnings. As she left the room, she heard the three-year-old say with a trembling voice, “Who was THAT?”

~~~

At my age flowers scare me

George Burns

~~~

His mother was away all weekend at a business conference. During a break, she decided to call home collect. His six-year-old brother picked up the phone and heard a stranger’s voice say, “We have a Marcia on the line. Will you accept the charges?”

Frantic, he dropped the receiver and came charging outside screaming, “Dad! They’ve got Mom! And they want money!”

~~~

She said: DON’T TREAT ME ANY DIFFERENTLY THAN YOU WOULD THE QUEEN I’M OUT OF ESTROGEN AND I HAVE A GUN

~~~

Several women were visiting elderly Mrs. Diamond who was very ill.

After a while, they rose to leave and told her, “Esther, we will keep you in our prayers.”

“Just wash the dishes in the kitchen,” the ailing woman said, “I can do my own praying.”

~~~

A recent study has found that women who carry a little extra weight live longer than men who mention it.

~~~

Marvin was in his usual place in the morning sitting at the table, reading the paper after breakfast. He came across an article about a beautiful actress that was about to marry a football player who was known primarily for his lack of IQ and common sense.

He turned to his wife with a look of question on his face. “I’ll never understand why the biggest jerks get the most attractive wives.”

His wife replies, “Why thank you, dear!”.

~~~

Sometimes it is when you become exhausted of your old habits where you then observe all the dislikes in your life and you begin living more consciously. You realize that you have a choice in every matter. That your life becomes that which you focus on and that at any time you can assert your personal will power to become what you want to be and not become what the outside circumstances may attempt to mold you into.”

Jason Micheal Ratliff

~~~

Stay well, do good work, and have fun.

Ray Mitchell

Indianapolis, Indiana

Management is not responsible for duplicates from previous dailies. The editor is somewhat senile.

Ray’s Daily has been sent for more than fifteen years to people who want to start their day on an upbeat. If you have system overload because of our daily clutter, let me know and I will send you the information via mental telepathy. If you have not been getting our daily you can request to be added by e-mailing me at raykiwsp@gmail.com. Back issues are posted at https://raykiwsp.wordpress.com/ currently there are more than 2000 readers from around the world.

 

There is always hope

“Hope springs eternal in the human breast.”

Alexander Pope

! 0000000 Hope

I have been accused on occasion of being overly optimistic since I prefer to believe that things will turn out OK as they usually do. I prefer to minimize worry and maximize a belief in positive outcomes. If in fact things don’t work out then it is time to moderate worry with hope.

I have a few maladies that are uncorrectable but there impact is moderated by appropriate therapies allowing life to continue with only minimal and really inconsequential impact on my daily activities. I have found that hope opens the door to effective coping with life’s challenges. I recently read an article by Saul Levine M.D. that talked about the value of hope. I have slightly abridged the article for space reasons, here is what he wrote:

“Hope Springs Eternal”

Hope is a powerful life force which enables us to face and overcome challenges.

Hope is of course the belief one holds during difficult circumstances that things will get better. It is unique to our species because it requires words and thoughts to contemplate possible future events. There are countless dramatic stories of hope existing in people even in the most dire of circumstances. My late father was raised in destitute circumstances, yet never lost hope, which enabled him to withstand, overcome, heal and grow as a person.

Physicians present encouraging possibilities when breaking bad news to patients because hope during serious illness fosters healing and recovery. Hope helps to envision that a challenge or threat can ameliorate, and that there will be a “better tomorrow.” Hope is by its very nature optimistic and encourages us to work towards goals of overcoming.

Hope provides a haven from pessimism and fear. It galvanizes our courage and mobilizes our energy and vitality. It enhances our mood and our creative thinking. Hope also contributes to the human propensity to help others who are in distress, including loved ones as well as strangers. It is one of the great human motivators, engendering a sense of purpose and aspirations during desperate times.

Of course, there are ‘false hopes,’ which can be misguided or even destructive. False hopes are based on faulty assumptions or misinformation, or on the hubris or delusions of a charismatic but crazed individual. Merely waiting for an impossible situation to resolve can be demoralizing and self-defeating.

Hope in the face of unpleasant fates enables people to create important works and to help others. Stories of hope and fortitude abound: Anne Frank, Florence Nightingale, Londoners during the Blitz, slaves during the Jim Crowe years, survivors of natural disasters, East Germans under Stasi, and so many others.

When we are in deep turmoil, we all “light our internal candles” of hope. There have surely been times in your own life when your problems seemed insurmountable, yet you retained your inner hope which enabled you to overcome, turn things around, and grow in personal wisdom and as a person.

~~~

“Life is meaningless only if we allow it to be. Each of us has the power to give life meaning, to make our time and our bodies and our words into instruments of love and hope.”

Tom Head

~~~

She said, I Love Him But

* He gives out the phone number to innumerable business acquaintances – then when the phone rings, tells me to say he’s not home….

* He swears he gave me the registration papers to the truck then finds them in his tackle box a week later. Apology? Not in this life time!

* He ‘Channel surfs’ – right in the middle of something I’m trying to write down.

* He tells me my new outfit is OK – then gripes to everyone that it cost way too much & doesn’t do a thing for me.

~~~

If some people said what they thought, they’d be speechless.

~~~

As a drunk guy staggers out of the bar one Friday evening, a fire engine races past, siren wailing and lights flashing. Immediately, the drunk starts chasing the engine, running as fast as he can until eventually he collapses, gasping for breath.  In a last act of desperation he shouts after the fire engine, “If that’s the way you want it, you can keep your bloody ice cream!”

~~~

Heck is where people go when they don’t believe in gosh.

~~~

A young man called his mother and announced excitedly that he had just met a young lady of excellent character and virtue that interested him very much. What should he do to try to impress her?

His mother had an idea: “Why don’t you send her flowers, and on the card invite her to your apartment for a home-cooked meal?”

He thought this was a great idea, and a week later, the woman came to dinner. His mother called the next day to see how things had gone.

“I was totally humiliated,” he moaned. “She insisted on washing the dishes.”

“Why, what’s wrong with that?” asked his mother.

“Mom, we hadn’t even started eating yet.”

~~~

I just read that last year 4,153,237 people got married.

I don’t want to start any trouble, but shouldn’t that be an even number?

~~~

Jill was out driving her car and while stopped at a red light, the car just died.  It was a busy intersection and the traffic behind her starting growing.  The guy in the car directly behind her started honking his horn continuously as Jill continued to try getting the car to start up again.

Finally Jill gets out of her car and approaches the guy in the car behind her.

“I can’t seem to get my car started,” Jill said, smiling.  “Would you be a sweetheart and go and see if you can get it started for me.  I’ll stay here in your car and lean on your horn for you.”

~~~

In seeking truth you have to get both sides of the story.

~~~

Airport Security alerted an airline crew to keep an eye a blonde passenger who appeared excessively nervous and shifty-eyed.  Soon after takeoff, the blonde man called a stewardess to his seat and said, “I have a live grenade in my pocket.  I’ll blow up the plane if you do not divert to Cairo.”

Perplexed, the stewardess said, “But, sir. This is Delta flight 1219 to Cairo.”

“Damn!” replied the blonde passenger, “I got on the wrong plane.”

~~~

If at first you don’t succeed, try looking in the waste basket for the directions.

~~~

In the cafeteria on the first day of spring semester at Kent State University, I saw three students hard at work on their calculators.

Stunned that they had received such an obviously tough problem so early in the semester, I asked them what their assignment was.  One girl looked at me and replied, “We’re figuring out how many days until spring break.”

~~~

“The capacity for hope is the most significant fact of life. It provides human beings with a sense of destination and the energy to get started.”

Norman Cousins

~~~

Stay well, do good work, and have fun.

Ray Mitchell

Indianapolis, Indiana

Management is not responsible for duplicates from previous dailies. The editor is somewhat senile.

Ray’s Daily has been sent for more than fifteen years to people who want to start their day on an upbeat. If you have system overload because of our daily clutter, let me know and I will send you the information via mental telepathy. If you have not been getting our daily you can request to be added by e-mailing me at raykiwsp@gmail.com. Back issues are posted at https://raykiwsp.wordpress.com/ currently there are more than 2000 readers from around the world.

 

Today will be great

LIVE NOW!

! 0000000 do it now

It is Friday and we made it through another day, I think when you get to be my age you will value each day as I do. It does not require anything special just twenty four hours of trouble free living, Sure it often includes aches and pains but we can still breathe, think, read and so much more. Days that include some time with a friend or two are always a joy.

Sure there are things we might not be able to as well as we did when we were younger but in reality there is a lot to be said for the more leisurely life. I find the secret is to focus on what you can do and enjoy it while you can,

A few years ago I copied some quotes that should help us to focus on the present rather than dwelling on the past or waiting for the future. Here is what I saved.

Focusing on the present

  • Dream as if you live forever, live as if you’ll die today.
  • There are seven days a week and someday is not one of them.
  • A year from now, you will wish you had started today. – Karen Lamb
  • Life isn’t about waiting for the storm to pass….It’s about learning to dance in the rain.
  • If not now then when? If not you, then who? – Robin Sharma
  • One day you will wake up and there won’t be any more time to do the things you’ve always wanted. Do it now. – Paul Coelho
  • People wait all week for Friday, all year for summer, all life for happiness.
  • Do it now. The future is promised to no one.
  • The best time to plant a tree is 20 years ago. The second best time is NOW. – Chinese Proverb
  • The time for the action is now. It’s never too late to do something.
  • Spending today, complaining about yesterday won’t make tomorrow any better.
  • Enjoy life now. This is not a rehearsal.
  • The place to be happy is here. The time to be happy is NOW. -Robert Ingersoll
  • Live now, believe me wait not till tomorrow; gather the roses of life today. -Pierre De Ronsard
  • Don’t live life hiding behind your past, live for right now. -Nichole William
  • Enjoy these moments now, because they don’t last forever.
  • The past is gone, the future is only imaginary. We have little choice…Now is the only place we CAN exist.
  • Yesterday is history, tomorrow is mystery. Today is a gift; that’s why it’s called a present.

~~~

“You’re cheating yourself out of today. Today is calling to you, trying to get your attention, but you’re stuck on tomorrow, and today trickles away like water down a drain. You wake up the next morning and that today that you wasted is gone forever. It’s now yesterday. Some of those moments may have had wonderful things in store for you, but you’ll never know.”

Jerry Spinelli

~~~

There was this man who, many years ago, worked for a large business. That was his lifetime employment, but he wasn’t happy there. He wanted to go into business for himself. He saved his money and finally had enough so that he could quit and start his own business.

About two years later, I was on vacation and was going through the town where his business was located, so I stopped by for a visit. “Hey, John! I heard that the first year is the hardest for a new business.”

“Yeah, the first year was pretty rough, but we are doing pretty good now. In fact, I’m getting to where I only have to work half a day.”

“Wow, that’s pretty nice. Maybe I should think about going into business for myself.”

“Yeah, and the nicest part of it is that it doesn’t matter which twelve hours you work!”

~~~

There are two schools of thought on the leather jacket…one of them from the cow.

~~~

When it comes to tunes, my local music shop prefers the sound of silence. A sign prominently displayed on a grand piano reads, “The management is not responsible for the actions of its employees if your child plays “Heart and Soul” or “Chopsticks” on this instrument.

~~~

Half the secret of getting along with people is consideration of their views; the other half is tolerance in one’s own views.

Daniel Frohmann

~~~

My English professor was stopped for speeding. When asked why she was driving so fast, she quoted Robert Frost: “I have promises to keep and miles to go before I sleep.”

“But Miss,” replied the officer, obviously familiar with the poet. “Frost chose the road less traveled and unfortunately for you, this wasn’t it!”

~~~

Always laugh when you can. It is cheap medicine.

Lord Byron

~~~

A visitor to a college campus paused to admire the new Hemingway Hall. “It’s a pleasure to see a building named for Ernest Hemingway.”

“Actually,” said the guide, “it’s named for Joshua Hemingway. No relation.”

“Oh? Was Joshua Hemingway a writer also?”

“Yes, indeed. He wrote a check.”

~~~

A synonym is a word you use in place of one you can’t spell

~~~

A woman, her husband and their three rambunctious young sons were in their car waiting at a traffic light. The woman glanced over at the car next to them and noticed a blissfully happy mother with her baby daughter.

Looking at her husband, she said, “As soon as I lose my weight from the last baby, I want to try for a daughter.”

The husband reached up to the dash, grabbed an open box of snacks and said, “Here. Have another cookie.”

~~~

I love being over 80.   I learn something new every day……. and forget at least 5 others.

~~~

A woman meant to call a record store but dialed the wrong number and got a private home instead. “Do you have ‘Eyes of Blue’ and ‘A Love Supreme’?” she asked.

“Well, no,” answered the puzzled homeowner. “But I have a wife and eleven children.”

“Is that a record?” she inquired.

“I don’t think so,” replied the man, “but it’s as close as I want to get.”

~~~

“Happiness is achieved when you stop waiting for your life to begin and start making the most of the moment you are in.”

Germany Kent

~~~

Stay well, do good work, and have fun.

Ray Mitchell

Indianapolis, Indiana

Management is not responsible for duplicates from previous dailies. The editor is somewhat senile.

Ray’s Daily has been sent for more than fifteen years to people who want to start their day on an upbeat. If you have system overload because of our daily clutter, let me know and I will send you the information via mental telepathy. If you have not been getting our daily you can request to be added by e-mailing me at raykiwsp@gmail.com. Back issues are posted at https://raykiwsp.wordpress.com/ currently there are more than 2000 readers from around the world.

 

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