Freedom has its life in the hearts, the actions, the spirit of men and so it must be daily earned and refreshed – else like a flower cut from its life-giving roots, it will wither and die.
Dwight D. Eisenhower
July is here already and 2015 is half gone. July not only brings the high heat of summer to my country it also will ring in our annual celebration of the US’s Independence during our July 4th national holiday. All over America people will be enjoying picnics, festivals, fireworks and much more. But our Independence Day is not the only special thing in July, you see it is also:
- Air-Conditioning Appreciation Days – At this time of year I really do appreciate it. I don’t know how we did it with no air-conditioning when I was growing up.
- Cell Phone Courtesy Month – Be nice to your phone?
- Independent Retailer Month – Are there any left?
- National “Doghouse Repairs” Month – While I am frequently in the dog house my wife won’t tell me where it is.
- National Grilling Month – I think they mean food preparation and not police questioning.
- National Ice Cream Month and Hot Dog Month. − I don’t recommend mixing them together; rather they taste better one after the other.
- National Make A Difference to Children Month – This is something Kiwanis Clubs do year round.
- National Vacation Rental Month – How do you rent a vacation? Can you rent one in Nepal? Does someone go for you?
We must be free not because we claim freedom, but because we practice it.
Flying to Los Angeles from San Francisco the other day, a passenger noticed that the “Fasten Seat Belts” sign was kept lit during the whole journey although the flight was a particularly smooth one.Just before landing, he asked the stewardess about it.
“Well,” she explained, “up front there are 17 University of California girls going to Los Angeles for the weekend. In back, there are 25 Coast Guard enlistees.
There are three signs of old age. The first is your loss of memory, the other two I forget.
The district attorney stared at the jury, unable to believe its verdict. Bitterly he asked, “What possible excuse could you have for acquitting this man?”
The foreman answered, “Insanity.”
The D.A. said, “All twelve of you?”
Poverty: Having too much month left at the end of the money.
All too rarely, airline attendants make an effort to make the in-flight “safety lecture” and their other announcements a bit more entertaining. Here are some real examples that have been heard or reported:
- On a Continental Flight with a very “senior” flight attendant crew, the pilot said, “Ladies and gentlemen, we’ve reached cruising altitude and will be turning down the cabin lights. This is for your comfort and to enhance the appearance of your flight attendants.”
- On landing the stewardess said, “Please be sure to take all your belongings. If you’re going to leave anything, please make sure it’s something we’d like to have.”
- “There may be 50 ways to leave your lover, but there are only 4 ways out of this airplane.”
- “Thank you for flying Delta Business Express. We hope you enjoyed giving us the business as much as we enjoyed taking you for a ride.”
- After a particularly rough landing during thunderstorms in Memphis, a flight attendant on a Northwest flight announced, “Please take care when opening the overhead compartments because, after a landing like that, sure as hell everything has shifted.”
- In the event of a sudden loss of cabin pressure, masks will descend from the ceiling. Stop screaming, grab the mask, and pull it over your face. If you have a small child traveling with you, secure your mask before assisting with theirs. If you are traveling with more than one small child… pick your favorite.
- Weather at our destination is 50 degrees with some broken clouds, but we’ll try to have them fixed before we arrive. Thank you, and remember, nobody loves you, or your money, more than Southwest Airlines.”
- Part of a flight attendant’s arrival announcement: “We’d like to thank you folks for flying with us today. And, the next time you get the insane urge to go blasting through the skies in a pressurized metal tube, we hope you’ll think of US Airways.”
I get enough exercise just pushing my luck!
There was an old man named Bill, and one of the things he most enjoyed was playing golf with his old buddy Fred. Bill’s wife always commented on how happy he looked after a game. But one day he came home from their weekly game looking terrible and very tired. His wife asked, “What’s the matter, Bill? You always seem so happy after golf and you look miserable right now.”
Bill said, “Well, something terrible happened. Fred had a heart attack on the first hole.”
“My God, honey!” said the wife, rushing to comfort him. “That must’ve been terrible!”
“It was,” he said. “All day long it was: hit the ball, drag Fred to the ball, and then hit it again…”
We have to believe in free will. We have no choice.
Her mother is a typical Jewish mother. Once she was on jury duty… They sent her home. She insisted SHE was guilty.
Kindness is in our power, even when fondness is not.
A man hasn’t been feeling well, so he goes to his doctor for a complete checkup. Afterward, the doctor comes out with the results. “I’m afraid I have some very bad news,” the doctor says. “You’re dying, and you don’t have much time left.”
“Oh, that’s terrible!” says the man. “Give it to me straight, Doc. How long have I got?”
“Ten,” the doctor says sadly.
“Ten?” the man asks. “Ten what? Months? Weeks? What?!”
“Every heart that has beat strong and cheerfully has left a hopeful impulse behind it in the world, and bettered the tradition of mankind.”
Robert Louis Stevenson
Frederick II, the eighteenth-century king of Prussia, fancied himself an enlightened monarch, and in some respects he was. On one occasion he is supposed to have interested himself in conditions in the Berlin prison and was escorted through it so that he might speak to the prisoners. One after the other, the prisoners fell to their knees before him, bewailing their lot and, predictably, protesting their utter innocence of all charges that had been brought against them. Only one prisoner remained silent, and finally Frederick’s curiosity was aroused. “You,” he called. “You there.”
The prisoner looked up. “Yes, Your Majesty?”
“Why are you here?”
“Armed robbery, Your Majesty.”
“And are you guilty?”
“Entirely guilty, Your Majesty. I richly deserve my punishment.”
At this Frederick rapped his cane sharply on the ground and said, “Warden, release this guilty wretch at once. I will not have him here in jail where by example he will corrupt all the splendid innocent people who occupy it.”
How often we fail to realize our good fortune in living in a country where happiness is more than a lack of tragedy.
Stay well, do good work, and have fun.
Management is not responsible for duplicates from previous dailies. The editor is somewhat senile.
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